Droopy eyes, muscle relaxers and Bloggers who can help you!

You know I have been doing pretty good with the pain management of my body since February.  Without all that crap in my body, i.e. yummy hamburgers, oozing chocolate, sloppy pasta.... (Oh gawd, would someone pass me a kleenex, I am drooling all over my desk), I have seen a significant drop in inflammation in my body which makes my fibromyalgia happy and my autoimmune disease happy which of course makes me happy which makes all those who tolerate me extremely happy.  Of course the downside is that I am starting to resemble a piece of cauliflower with broccoli hair, but it's all worth it.  Although, there are days I would kill for pickle!

With that said though, I have spent the last three weeks working like a trooper in my garden and needless to say, I have gained like 8 pounds of inflammation in my body within the last 3 days. Nope I am not joking, my body is crazy like that.  My fingers look like fat italian sausages, and I am walking around like the hunchback of Notre Dame! Needless to say I am none to pleased with this little setback I am experiencing.

When it gets this bad, I usually finally allow myself to succumb to my prescription muscle relaxers.  I hate taking them though because they make me ridiculously hungry (like jump over the table and suck the crumbs right off my better half's face hungry), I feel flat and unamused in my personality, I'm stupidly tired and slur my words like a drunk. And if that isn't bad enough and like I don't do this enough already, but I end up passing gas like a trucker. In general, I am Chet from Weird Science... Remember that dude, well I am his female counter part!  Ugh!

But today was the day of all days, literally I popped the muscle relaxer and instead of it working on my back and assisting there, the lovely muscle relaxer hit my eye balls.  They were so wonky that I could not for the life of me control them. I spent an inordinate amount of time today at work trying to get my one eye to stop swirling around and around and focus on the screen.  I eventually succumbed to closing my left eye and typing with only my right eye open.  Then when the bloody little yellow pill hit my right eye, I just typed with both eyes closed.  Oh yes, I am that mulit-talented my friends.

By the end of the day, my boss asked what was wrong with my eyeballs, and when I looked in the mirror, this is what I saw staring back at me:

Reminds me of how I looked for most of my 20's!

(except that I had more fun back then!)

Let's hope that the effect wears off soon
before other body parts start drooping!

In the meantime,

If you have get a chance, you should check out
two blogs:

1. Canadian Blogger Girl
as she is doing her own version of a Blog of Note
except she is Canucking you instead!
So go and nominate a blog you like or
nominate yourself.  Don't be shy
self promotion is good!

2. Simple Dude in a Complex World
He is selling for the low low low price
of a $1.99 an ebook he has published
on how to get your blog noticed and
to find new followers. If that is your thing,
you should check it out because he is the King
when it comes to self promoting his blog
and a bit of my hero that way (but ssshhh,
don't tell him that).

As for me, well I think I am going to lie down until I gain
full use of my body and personality again!

Cheers for now my lovely friends.

Tracy

Story Telling: Bubble Baths and Fantasies

This is a far from the norm type of post for me (in fact I took it down last night after I posted because I felt shy about it), but then thought what the heck, I will try a different style of writing.... may not be for everyone and will be back to my average self tomorrow... Cheers

It had been a hard day yesterday at work.  I was working on a project that was so time consuming and complicated that I actually felt my eyes crossing before me.

I couldn’t wait to get home.  My home.  I knew that I needed time, just me time, selfish time, away from everything time.  But guilt was holding me back.  Guilt stood there in the colour black, weighing all 17 pounds on his four little paws so ecstatically happy to see me, his butt wiggling with joy and his eyes sparkling with that “oh mommy I have been waiting for you all day” look.

I wanted to play with him and I wanted to runaway from him.  I was exhausted.

My head hurt, my back hurt and my mind was tired and both my pooch and my better half wanted their own special pieces of me.  I couldn’t deliver what they yearned for.  I needed to recharge myself and so with a kiss to both of them, I walked into my sanctuary.

With a warm woosh, I had turned the water on into my soaker tub, filling it to the brim with my decadent and favourite bubble bath from France.  With the room dripping in the soft scented perfume of sweetpeas, I dimmed the lights, undressed and dipped my toes into the deliciously warm scented water.  Easing my aching body, I reached for my ipod and plugged my head phones in and I laid back watching as the gentle bubbles caressed by breasts.  With a flick of my finger, my carefully chosen music started to fill my senses. Slowly my eyes started to close and quickly my fantasies started to take shape.

With each new song, I was more than just Tracy.  In fact Tracy was gone.  What lingered was a singer in a bar enticing the patrons with my melodic vocals.  Other moments, I imagined that I was a belly dancer at a gentlemen’s club where my hips moved so rhythmically to the pulse of the music that I had each and every man under a controllable trance.  With a click of the next song, I was transported away to where I was poll dancing for my better half at his bachelor party, making him hungry with each seductive move of my body.  Another song sent me soaring to my 20's in a smoking bar where I awaited for the perfect stranger to walk thru the door. My fantasy self felt strong and sexually charged.

And, I felt alert and awake and more myself at that moment then I had in weeks. I felt like a strong overtly seductive woman that could take on the world with just one glance from under my eyelashes.  It was the me time that I desperately needed.

And with the water getting cold, and the bubbles long since dissipated, it was time to get out and see the ones I loved who patiently were waiting for me. But with Prince’s Little Red Corvette playing in the background, I knew I had time for just one more amazing fantasy.

Until Next Time.

Tracy

Thank you to those who recently clicked my follow button, you made my day, and I am just trying something new with the story telling today, so I hope you will bear with me.

There is just something wonderful about Mynx!

You know I have said it before and I will say it again, I have been a pretty fortunate blogger as I have met the most amazing people and some of the most supportive that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  Lovely Mynx at DRIBBLE is definitely one of them, from following all of my three blogs with no questions asked, to becoming my friend on facebook, to being one of the first people to sign up on my 500 Days of Happiness, to talking me off a ledge when I was ready to throw all my blogging away.  She is pretty amazing, and in fact that word doesn't quite cover who she is.  And today she is doing me the favour of guest posting for which I am thrilled and honoured, so without further ado.... Meet my fabulous and extraordinary friend, the lovely Mynx!

It had been a long tough night.

Freezing cold and uncomfortable.

Our campsite had been invaded twice by local hoons smashing bottles and yelling loudly, and this was after the music from the local pub had kept us awake until after 1am.

It was a cold clear dawn as bleary eyed adults crawled out of tents, followed by sleepy children.

Sunday morning of the Joey scout camp.  Joey scouts are for boys and girls between 6 & 8 and I was camping with my youngest "big C"

General chatter between the adults was all, "did you hear this" and "what happened then?"
Exhausted parents, sipping hot coffee clasped between cold hands.

The camp fire was still glowing from the night before and was coaxed back to life and became a magnet for both children and grownups.

The barbecue was in demand, eggs and bacon, plenty of toast and hot chocolate for the children.

Many of the children had slept through the ruckus.  As children often do and the mums and dads were thankful that they didn't have to settle frightened children in the early hours.

The mood was somber, as you would expect, the gloss of the camp stolen by a few drunken yobbos.

I took my coffee to the edge of the fire and was gazing into the mesmerising flames, when a small boy, probably around 6 yrs old, wandered up with his plate full of breakfast.
Balancing his cup on a tree stump, he sat down, picked up his egg and bacon sandwich and with a huge grin declared   "This is the BEST, great food, fire, lovely morning"

And I looked up from my coffee, breathed in the fresh morning air mixed with the smell of eucalyptus, wood smoke and bacon, heard for the first time the warbling of magpies in the towering gum trees and smiled.

He was so right. 

Didn't matter what came before, what was happening right then was the best. After all, how could you possibly beat a campfire breakfast on a beautiful winter morning.

So why am I telling this story? 

Well Tracy has told you all about her fabulous Facebook goal to find 500 days of happiness, and the key in my opinion to that, is to find happiness in the little things.

Yes it had been a crappy night, but the joy on a small boy's face, took all that away and gave me a share of his happiness.

It doesn't take much for me to get a dose of happy.
I have a sense of the absurd.
A dry leaf, blowing across the road has me laughing as my imagination turns it into a manic crab dance.

The young girl at my local McDonald's going the extra step and making sure the butter with my raisin toast was soft makes me happy.

The quick hug I receive before my 14 year old son dashes from the car to go to his karate class make me smile and I am happy just to not get my lunch down my shirt.

I won't kid anybody into thinking I am a sunshiny person 24/7. I can be a right moody bitch and if you piss me off, you better be prepared to duck.

But even in my worst moods, my darkest times, I instinctively look for things that make me happy.
Bright colours, sunshine, birdsong, happy goofy music I can turn up and sing loud.

And if all else fails, hot coffee and a bacon and egg sanga.

Thankyou so much Miss Tracy for having me visit your lovely blog again.  Your turn to visit me next :)

No my friend, Thank you Mynx.

By the way, thank you for the latest and greatest followers to click the follow button.  I will be over soon to check out your lovely blogs as well!

Cheers for now

Tracy

APPARENTLY I AM OLD!!!

I was giving a friend of mine the gears on fb for being old. As I was trying to be witty, it suddenly dawned on me after a quick mental calculation in my brain, that perhaps I am old too or at the very least middle aged! Could I be freaking middle aged?  Instantly I looked down my shirt to see where my girls were hanging.  I have always seen my breasts as a clear indication of my own personal age calculator.  Besides the fact that they have been chopped up and reduced and are perhaps a bit perkier then they would have been had I left them to their own devices, I have however noticed that they may have dropped a bit in the last few years, not a significant amount, but enough to look like paint that has run down the side of the building. Luckily for me, they are still pointing in the right direction.

You know what’s funny? I just don’t feel old. I certainly don’t act old and I have often been accused of being about 7 to 8 years younger in my appearance, which of course I conceitedly revel in. For the most part, people are shocked when I say I am in my 40's. I chalk this up to the fact that I don’t have the almighty blessing of children to stress me out.  My better half and my dog do enough of that for me without kidlets being thrown into the equation.

I know that I am a little wiser, quite a bit more patient but still I admittedly have the persona and mental capacity of a 23 year old.  Not a party mentality, but a “let’s not take life to serious” mentality.  Perhaps that is just my nature. Let’s face it, I enjoy fart wars, water fights and wedgie battles with my better half.  I like walking behind my 60 something year old mom and snapping her bra when she least expects it, giving that fiancee of mine a wet willy when he is deeply engrossed in something on tv, and wrestling my dog until we are both laying there in a heap on the floor panting like fools.

Some may say that I am immature, I just say that I have a youthful heart.  I don’t know how long I have been given to live on this planet.  I do know that we are predestined for some outcome that ends our time here, but whatever mine is, I want to know that I was goofy and that I laughed a lot and that I found joy in the art of being ridiculous.

But until that time or when the directional arrow on my girls starting pointing due south, well then perhaps you can call me old.  Until that moment however, I think I am happy being a 23 year old encased in my 43 year old body.

Have a great weekend.

Cheers
Tracy

On tiny wings...

I was thinking to myself that perhaps I have reached a dry spell, and not just in blogging unfortunately.  I have been searching my brain for something to write about for my monthly newspaper article and there is nothing in this head of mine except a few rocks rattling around.  And it doesn't stop there... I have been reading your posts for weeks and I cannot think of anything to put in the comment sections, mostly because others have already said what I was thinking. I'm a bit frustrated.

And the other day I thought to myself, what if this is it for my Average Life?  Perhaps I have said and done all I can do with my Average Life. Maybe there is only so much you can write about living an Average Life. I mean how many things do you want to read about my life anyways?

And then last night after sitting their aimlessly for a very long hour staring at my blank computer screen, I decided to get up and go and sit outside on my grass and close my eyes and just relax in the sun with Fred, my pooch.

It was a lovely warm evening and the neighbourhood was quiet.  You know those days where you can be just still and appreciate your surroundings with no interruptions?  Well I was having one of them.

Above me was my hummingbird feeder that was lifeless with activity at that moment.  And as I sat there with my face to the sun and the sweet smell of honeysuckle floating on the warm breeze, I heard the low tone of the wings of a hummingbird, a female hummingbird. I opened my eyes just in time to witness something truly extraordinary:  Fred standing on his hind legs, standing up as straight as he could, with his little head stretched as far to the sky as possible and the little hummingbird gently, in a circular pattern, floating down to him.  With no more than six inches a part, he stood still and she hummed above him and there they stood staring at each other calmly for several minutes.  I could barely breathe at how beautiful the sight was and then she went back up to the feeder and once more floated down to Fred and flew off, but not before she came over and checked me out first.  I was face to face with something so delicate and fierce at the same time.  She was this amazing contradiction. And then she was gone, leaving Fred and I to stare up into the sky and contemplate this wonderful moment.  And I did.

I guess I should thank her too because who would have thought that her tiny wings would give me something to write about.

Until Next Time.

Cheers

Tracy

My Blog is only worth what? Well good lord, I won't be able to retire on that!

I get a kick out of my feedjit widget, not because it shows me the different countries people come from to view my blog, (although I have to admit, that the first time someone viewed my blog from other than North America, I was giggly and goofy and plain stupid for days) but more because it shows search words others use to land here on my little piece of the internet.  

Popular search phrases have been:

• Little girls and lavender fields (this one is the most popular and I get a crazy strange amount of people from Romania and the Ukraine landing on this particular post of mine)
• knot in my ass
• can't find my passion
• dancing in the rain
• trying to find happiness
• blogs having parties
• backroading
• bella cosa far niente (that one is used a lot)
• dog knot girl ass (hmmm, I have received that one a couple of times and I can rest assure you that I have NEVER blogged about a "dog knot girl ass".... good lord there are some freaky people in this world!)

Anyhow, the other day someone stopped by my blog by searching  for my URL.  I am always amazed when people find my site by using the goodgirlgoneaverage.  Bit of a mouthful I am afraid and most times I can't even remember it. So being the sleuth I am, okay I was just bored, I did some back linking and found out that there were 5 full pages dedicated to comments I made on others' blogs (I seem to use the word "love" alot, like I loved that post, I love your blog, I love you! Just so free and easy with that "L" word, aren't I?)  But as I stumbled thru the pages, I came across a Dutch company that was rating what my blog was financially worth!  Really, my blog is worth something, other than of course my stripped down raw, told you way too much about my gassy ass, deep to the core, every bloody feeling that pops in my mind, simple little, exposed to the world, emotional babble?

Yup apparently it is.  It even has a ranking in the world.  Sadly that ranking is way too many numbers to repeat and dismally sad.  

As I scanned down further, I was kind of getting the creeps to see that my blog had been analyzed and put into numbers and then strewn out for all to see.  Strange that I have no problem telling you about saggy boobs and droopy butts, but I was horrified that my blog was analyzed by some unknown Dutch company evaluating my worth in cyber space.

The upswing is, well I am worth approximately $3.46 Canadian, per day, or  a whopping $1,262.90 a year!

And you know what that means, don't ya?

Yup....

I guess I won't be quitting my day job anytime soon!

Until Next Time

Cheers

Tracy

What makes you happy?

It's almost bedtime and my mind is whizzing around on hyperactive overdrive. I have no control over her, my brain that is.  She has a mind of her own, no pun intended, and loves to over analyze every little situation. So I go with it, not fighting her and letting her think until she is exhausted.

I, being in the second to last time zone on this planet, realize that no doubt this post is floating out into the ether while you all are hopefully in a peaceful slumber.  Just a moment for me to babble in an weak attempt to assist my brain in wearing out.

She and I, were pondering over the concept of happiness today.  I use to run at full speed in search of it.  Constantly feeling that I was missing the boat, just ever so slightly.  Always reaching for it.  Long, outstretched arms, waiting breathless for that moment where it would embrace me. 

I frantically searched for happiness when I should have just stopped.

And as I stood in my yard today with my camera wrapped around my neck, and the wind dancing it's softness about me, the sweet honey soaked scent of the flowers in my garden enveloping my senses and my silly, entertaining little pooch running like a maniac around the yard trying to catch leaves, I realized that I am starting to feel a wonderful contentment. I felt wonderfully at ease today. Strangely, I felt connected with my surroundings. And I believe that it was a rather large delectable first taste of peaceful happiness and I have no words to describe it.

I think that it was finally about me, finding my long lost passion that went trotting off last year, a true love for something, a reason to be more, a reason for my passion to come back.  It was about me and a camera, just the two of us, searching for colour and beauty. And while I am not that good, it doesn't really matter because it ignites my soul. It allows me to see things, I might have passed up on before and it allows me to see beauty thru my lense....

So now I wonder, what makes you happy my friend?

Until Next Time

Tracy

Blogger of the Week - GEORGE!

Back in the fall, I use to promote 3 to 5 blogs every monday for several months. It was called the Pay it Forward Series.  I had stupidly asked if anyone wanted to be pimped out on my blog, and forgot to put a limit on it.  You know like saying the first 15 people who respond will be featured.  No not me, I said go for it and for several months the list grew and grew and grew until my head wanted to explode. I spent so much time reading blogs, writing up a miniature biography on each blog and posting their pics, that I was becoming to pooped to blog my own stuff. Although, in all honesty I don't regret it because I got to meet some amazing people and broaden my horizons in blogland.

Anywhoo, after I featured everyone, I found that the routine of it kind of got to me.  I don't know about you, but I am not one for structure.  I like to blog as it comes to my brain or blog as how I feel that day.  

With that said, I wanted to start this new thing called BLOG BLOG BLOGGER OF THE WEE WEE WEEK (hear the echo in the background, pretty cool huh?)  I don't know when in the week I will post it or if I post it at all, but it will be based on which post I read that I really enjoyed that week.

Anywhooo, this week I was a tad shocked and completely in a fit of giggles by this particular blogger, who is a fav of mine. And this week without a doubt, the person that cracked me up was none other than GEORGE at IT'S TIME I SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!  And you know what I love about George, is he is funny without trying.  Anyway, if you want to read a blog about a guy who is not to shy to ask the questions, George is the blogger to check out!

I love ya George, you make me smile weekly my friend!

Cheers for now.

Tracy

THE MEET AND GREET PAGE!!!!!

Hello darlins

I have introduced a new page to my blog aptly entitled The Meet and Greet Page!!!! (So after you read this, go up to the top under my header and click the MEET AND GREET PAGE)

For those of you who have been with me for awhile, you will recall the party post I had in January where I handed over my blog for 48 hours and you had the opportunity to meet and learn about new bloggers and share your blog with others as well.

Well this is the same premise my friends, except that it will be ongoing indefinitely.  

This page is designed specifically for your use only, come and go as you please, introduce your blog, leave a link or your web address and come back whenever you feel like it to meet new and interesting people. Hopefully, you will make new friends, follow new blogs and garner new followers in the process.

Why am I doing this?  Well quite frankly, I just cannot believe how amazingly loyal you have all been to me during my "I am finished with blogging, I am back to blogging" phase.  I have heard others say that their followers were the best, but I have to tell you something, I have the best people in the blogging world right here on my blog!  So I just wanted to say thanks to all of you.

Feel free to tell your followers about it too, and they are more than welcome to put a blurb about themselves up there too!  You do not have to follow me to be part of this.  It's open for anyone. The more the merrier I say! So enjoy my lovely friends.

Now, don't be shy my friends, promote yourselves, people deserve to know about you, so jump on that page and write something about yourself and your blog and let others know how crazily fantastic you are!!!!

Cheers

Tracy

CHA CHA CHANGE.........

Morning Peeps!

I have been changing it up a bit in blog land.  

New look and new design....  

When I first started blogging, I use to change it once a month just to keep my creative or quasi-creative juices flowing.

I thought the last look was way too melancholy and felt I needed to be uplifted slightly.

And I am kind of digging it.  Although I am not sure about the brightness!  Kind of neonish!

As I say that, I wouldn't want you to be confused the next time you came around wondering who the heck this was, as it is still me.  Or is it?  *pause to make sure nothing invaded my body last night*

Anywhooooo, what do you think?

All positive comments are welcomed. Negative ones are welcomed too although they might make me cry (only slightly that is).

Cheers

Tracy

500 Days of Happiness

About 52 days ago, I started this project entitled 500 DAYS OF HAPPINESS on Facebook.  I have always been a thankful person, a grateful person and an appreciative person, at least I like to think I am.  And even though I wake up in some state of pain, I often remind myself of two things:

a.  that the pain reminds me that I can feel; and
b.  that I woke up.

Those alone should be reasons to jump for joy. 

With that said though, I cannot remember for the life of me when I last experienced unabashed joy.  Utter happiness that did not come from the heady experience of purchasing a designer purse, or latest piece of jewelry, or found the latest art acquisition or didn't involve any monetary purchase whatsoever.  Actually, if I really stop to think about it, I have not felt joy for 16 years. The last time, I believe I felt joy, was when I was holding my first new born niece in my arms.  She was three weeks old and I was babysitting her for a couple of hours.  She was crying and an Eagles song came on and I started to sing the song to her, she went very quiet and stared at me with complete clarity and put her little hand on my chin.  It was at that exact moment I felt like the Grinch who stole Christmas, because my heart was growing right out of my chest and the joy I felt at that moment superceded everything in my life.  It was the first time in my entire existence where I actually fell in unconditional love.  It goes without saying that I love all the rest of my family, but in those cases, I was born into the love.  In this case, my niece had done nothing but look at me and I was head over heels for her.  I still am when it comes to her and her sister.

But that is the last time I remember my entire being, my person and my heart being full.

This past year has been a reflective one for me.  It's been a year of searching.  Sometimes, it has been about yearning for something intangible.  Sometimes its about finding and losing and finding again my passion that I had in spades in my 20's. Sometimes it's just about trying to have meaning. Other times it's about stopping, looking around and taking in small moments. And if I were to be honest, I have to wonder if I am just having a midlife crisis.  Who knows.  What I do know is that I have reshaped my life in the last 4 months.  I have lost 40 pounds and worked hard to change my food habits all in an effort to relieve some of my pain and it has worked.  It’s not easy eating no sugar, no flour, no processed foods especially when you go holidays.  I had initially thought to myself that a change in my pain level would increase the serotonin in my brain and bring me joy.  It didn’t.

It is a bit of cultural shock when you realize that the thing that you blamed for years for your lack of happiness, in my case pain, is not the reason you are not as happy as you should be.

Then I realized that it wasn’t about the pain, although it does play a part when your life is curtailed.  What it was about inactuality was allowing or retraining my heart to soar and live and breathe and enjoy.  For some reason, I put it into a strong box and threw away the key to the lock for a very long time.

I was watching Rita one day from the Adventures of Cinderita, we are friends on facebook.  She is constantly doing what she needs to do to be happy and joyful.  There is something to be said about hugging people every day, it does raise that elusive serotonin in the brain.

So I created this page on facebook as a way for me to remember the small things that make me happy.  Simple things like waking up to sunshine, a good breakfast, a walk with my better half, snuggling with my little pooch, watching birds in my garden, finding a ladybug on my arm. Just simple things.

And as I write this, I wonder what brings you joy.  What makes you ecstatically happy.  Does your happiness runneth over to the next person. Does their happiness runneth over to you?

I guess this is a bit of corny post, but here it is: I invite you to join me on 500 Days of Happiness to share with me the things that get your mojo going.  The things that make your smile broadly.  The things that make your heart soar.  The things that just make you grateful to be alive.  And those things that make you smile, may just make someone else smile and then perhaps all of our days would be slightly better.

Mostly, I hope you will share with me, if even just in the comments section of this post, the things that light up your life.  Who knows what your happiness is but imagine if you shared one thing that made you happy and 50 other people read it and it made them smile too, wouldn’t the day just be better?

Here’s hoping that you really do have a very happy weekend.

Until Next Time.
Tracy

The Best of San Francisco and it's outlying areas

Just a few pics of some of my favourite spots

Random Streets that were so steep

that I should have lost a couple of pounds.

Perhaps, the fact that I kept stopping to take

pictures nullified my actual exercise

I use to have boobs this big

before I opted for the more compact perkier version

Ghirardelli square.... mmmmm chocolate

and yes I broke my no sugar rule

Yountville

(hated the name, but loved loved loved the place)

Carmel (where I wish to retire, right after I win the Lotto)

And finally,

Alcatraz (oh yes it is)

Crazy beautiful how nature takes over

and makes something so horrible into

something so beautiful

Hope you are all well...

I will be posting more pics in the upcoming days

and you will be able to find them at my other blog

As I Dream It 

should you be interested.

Until Next Time.

Tracy

She said "You are one in one thousand", I said "Oh lucky me!"

I'm back.  Yup, did my stint at San Francisco.  Toured my face off and my feet apparently!  Been and saw every attraction possible, zoomed down to Napa and Sonoma Valley, saw Yountville.  Did a 12 hour stint down the California Coast with pit stops at Davenport, Monterey, Pebble Beach and Carmel and I lived to tell you all about it.  Over the next few posts I will share some pics and some of my adventures.

And you can find a few of my photos HERE from one of the vineyards I toured in the Sonoma Valley.

In the meantime, you know an adventure is just not an adventure without it going slightly haywire.

It started off simple enough, well at least you would think so. We left at 3:30 a.m. from our home and drove the hour and half to the airport.  I was excited or at least I thought I was, in fact I think I was just so crazily tired that I was drunk with fatigue.

I jauntily sailed through the airport looking for the Horizon air ticket agent, okay I walked like a zombie with big baggie eyes up to the ticket agent, who swiped my passport where the handy dandy ticket machine spit out my ticket with a resounding "blech".  I looked up with my two peas in a snow hill, tired blue eyes and smiled and said my polite Canadian 'thank you so much' for which the ticket agent gave my a sympathetic smile and said 'I'm so sorry'.

What? sorry for what?  But before she could answer, the line behind me moved me up and out of the way so that they could greedily get their tickets. I tried to elbow my way back in but was met with a strong opposition of impatient, tired, and none to happy fellow Canadian travelers.  Believe you me, Canadians are not a polite as you think we are especially at 5:00 a.m. in the morning!

Puzzled, I walked over to security where I was stopped by a friendly and slightly thinner version of Santa Claus, who looked at my ticket, sympathetically smiled and took a pink highlighter and swooped it across my ticket and sent me through the scanner who loudly blared a triumph "BUUUUUZZZZZZZZZ".  I was immediately rushed by several security officers and one in particular, mumbled at me with his thick Asian accent and pointed his finger to a quarantined area. I couldn't understand a bloody word he said nor the instructions he was trying to impose upon me.  I kept insisting that I had metal in my leg, it was just metal in my leg.  Hello, anyone listening to me, it's metal in my leg!!!!  A friendly, but firm looking RCMP officer than escorted me to a secluded area for which I sat for the remainder of the time prior to boarding my plane whilst I continuously, nervously and feverishly glanced over at my better half with pleading eyes.

Finally, boarding for our plane was about to begin and while I watched all those start to board, a female security officer approached me and told me stand with my legs and arms spread apart while she frisked me and then I had the joy of having my hands swabbed and tested for illegal substances.  

For some reason, I broke out into complete laughter, whether it was because I was past the point of fatigue, or whether the situation just seem absurdly crazy, neither the police nor the security officer seemed amused by my early morning cackle.  Apparently my fellow Canadians lose their senses of humour at certain times of the day! My stealthy escort, Mr. RCMP cocked his head and said "what's so funny miss". Well, says me, see my fiancee that is waiting over there for me, he is an Arab, and I am the one standing here being swabbed! So much for having a round apple pie face! By the way, my better half was not too amused that I was trying to get him nabbed!  lol

Finally I passed the Canadian Security Test and as I exhaled a big sigh of relief, Ms. Security Officer looked at me sympathetically and said "Don't be too happy hun, you are going to have to go through this again in Seattle..."  WHAT?  "Yes, we have a system that randomly picks people to test for security breaches, and you are it.  Look at it this way, you are one in in one thousand!"

And she was right, I got to Seattle, spent time in a glassed in security box, yelled at because I was standing too close to some guy who was in there too, apparently we could cross contaminate each other, and then I had the not so happy pleasure of being aggressively felt up by some female American Security Officer who apparently took her job very seriously.  And you know what, I still have the wedgie to prove it!

Oh lucky me!!!!

Until Next Time.

Tracy

PS, A special thank you to Paul, Mynx, Ruth and Beliza for the recent awards... I will be addressing your utter kindness and generosity in a future post.  Thank you for thinking of me!!!  Love you guys!

By the way, I hope y'all being doing good!  Can't wait to catch up on your blogs!  Cheers!