STRANGE BEHAVIOUR

I am suffering from a serious case of strange behaviour, more weird than the usual for me!  I have taken on the delightful task of house sitting for my mother while she is on a shopping trip of a lifetime in New York.  Along with her house, comes her spry and notably stubborn 15 year old pooch.  I love her pooch.  She is, in all accounts, my baby too, BUT, she is giving me a run for my money and we, the pooch and I, seem to have fallen into a huge power struggle. If you were to tally up the score to date, it would look something like this:

        Me -55
        Her +75.

Most of our tug-a-war centers around her bathroom breaks.  She has literally a bladder of iron which is unusual considering that most dogs her age have long since lapsed into a state of incontinence.  Getting her to release her bladder has become nothing short of a rather large thorn in my ass!  I suppose that she is doing this as some form of silent protest on the fact that my mother had the “nerve” to leave her behind.  In the meantime, she is, with complete purpose, driving me nuts!

I am ashamed to say that we have gotten down and dirty with each other.  I have subjected her to the ultimate humiliation of picking her up and plopping her down on the grass, and let me tell you something, she is one dog that does NOT like to be picked up.  She, however, has gotten even with me by just standing on the grass doing absolutely nothing and forcing me into an O.K. Corral stare down situation.  In the end, she is the one still standing there calmly and I am the one jumping up and down screaming “PEE DAMN IT”.

Oh, she is a smart and wiley little thing.  She knows what I am up to and chooses to turn a blind eye.  The other day, I had my better half bring up my pooch and I put him in the yard so that he would mark his territory all over the place.  Secretly, I know that drives my mother’s pooch mad.  You can almost see it in her eyes.  If she could talk she would say to my pooch “knock it off you little bastard, this is my yard!” and then she would proceed to go and pee not once but twice on every spot that my little pooch had just marked.  It didn’t work this time though, she was on to me and she gave me that haughty look that said “whatever” and proceeded to retreat to her comfy bed.

Yesterday, I had thought for sure that I would pull a “coup d’etat” and she would break down and give me the satisfaction I so needed.  I had blocked her way from the grass to the sliding glass door, and there we stood for 45 solid minutes. Finally, in a moment of weakness on my part, I had wavered in my stance, and it was just enough for her to get around me and before you could say “Bob’s Your Uncle”, she was through that door and into her bed with an oh so satisfied, smug look on her face.

Today it dawned on me that I am only at the half way point of this little excursion, and she, my formidable frenemy, has already broken me!  Yes, she is that good.

I am already in the process of donning my boxing gloves as we enter into the 8th round of this battle of the wills.  Who will come out on top tonight?  God only knows.  What I do know for sure, that purse my mother is bringing back for me from New York City better be damn good!

Until Next Time.
Smooches Pooches.