BLOG PONDERING....

The other day I was pondering away.  I often do that, ponder away on the things that make me happy and the things that drive me nuts and the things that make me look crazy.  So it stands to reason that I got to pondering about blogging.  I never once thought that blogging would be that difficult.  Simply because I always seem to be rambling at the mouth, so rambling on a computer just seemed like the perfect next step in my life.  Ironically, it’s much more harder than I ever thought!  Not when it comes to finding things to write about, but the fact that you are sharing so many unusual, intimate details about yourself or the crazy perceptions that float around in your head.

My poor mother is my test on what to blog and what not to blog about.  If she is speechless, than I post it.  If she says, “that’s a nice one”, it will never see the light of day.  I get a tremendous kick out of what her expressions are going to be, and not because of the shock factor, but because my mother believes in being a lady, and she is one.  I wish I could record her comments for all your ears to hear.  She says things in her sweet little high peaked voice like “oh my gawd, you aren’t seriously going to tell people what a gross little girl you were by placing boogers on your wall, please don’t post that!” or “don’t tell people that you thought your vagina was a regina, they’ll think that I never taught you anything” and my favourite one “you got to be kidding, you are going to tell people that your dog and your fiancé pass gas on you while you are trying to sleep!”  Her expressions crack me up.  She is horrified at the fact that I am laying it out for all of you to read, and I wonder if she has a point, should I be horrified that I am sharing this with you?  She often points out the fact that she tried to raise me as a lady and good lord what happened there! However, I am who I am and I make no apologies for my openness. I can’t imagine myself any other way.  There are times I wonder if I could pull off sophistication, but sadly, it just would not fit my persona.  I would be the first to admit that I am ever so slightly eccentric and that I love love love to laugh, but most importantly I really do love to laugh at myself first.  In fact, my better half’s term of endearment for me is  “weirdo”.  Ironically, he is a bit of a weirdo himself.

I will tell you that I have no time for people who try to retain that cool facade of mystery about themselves.  I find it completely boorish.  I am much more attracted to people who are at ease with both their positive and negatives aspects within themselves. I actually don’t have any skeletons in my closet because I would be the first person to open the closet door and let them all out.  Besides, is anything really that bad that you can’t share?   I mean who cares if everyone knows that my dog and better half assault me with their machine gun loaded butts everyday.  Everyone knows that men fart.  Its no surprise that my fiancé farts.  He is quite proud of that accomplishment in his life.  In fact, he is even quite proud of the fact that he does velcro farts (ones that follow him wherever he goes!).  He loves it when he lets a bunch go into the couch and then I go to sit down and I get that horrible mushroom effect that surrounds me with his stench.  Believe me people, when I have had enough of his gassy ass, I purposely consume a whole can of chick peas just to exact my revenge!  And a whole can of chick peas can last you days and days of sweet revenge!  So there, now you know, I pass gas too!

The only downside to a blog is wondering whether you have just grossed out your only ten followers and you fear you might lose one of them in the process. Of course, there are other fears too, like whether you have just bored the crap out of them and whether they think after they have read it “well, there’s 5 minutes of my life I can’t get back”, or whether you aren’t articulate enough that you actually hold their interest while they read your blog.  I have had some pretty nice feedback from some pretty nice people.  And while I am completely honoured by their comments, I often wonder if they are just saying that so that I won’t feel like a complete moron.  It is after all just an expose of my very average life.  How interesting can that be?

Of course in the meantime, I have a zillion more things that are floating around in my head and I have this scary feeling that by the end of my blogging career, you will all have come to know me way more than you had ever wanted too.  In the meantime, I will continue to pay my 10 followers so that they won’t leave me.  And who knows what will pop out of my mind next, maybe I will talk about my breast reduction or the time I got caught passing gas around a city worker and his jackhammer.  Boy, I can’t wait to get my mother’s reaction on those two topics, not only will she be speechless but she will probably pass out from pure embarrassment.

Until Next Time.
Smooches Pooches.