THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER

As long as I have known myself, I have lived behind a wall of humour. I am not protecting myself from anything. It's just that laughing is a much more pleasant way to go thru life. But behind my humour, I battle some serious moments of unhappiness, due to a part of my life that I have been grieving the loss of for several years.

This is a difficult blog for me to post about, and I am sure that I will take a lot of heat for it, but in any event, I am talking about my single life. Lately, I have been reading a lot of blogs by a lot of wonderful, single women, whom I adore and whom I would never want to offend. They often write about searching, wanting, needing and wishing for love to appear for them. I, of all the people you will meet, can completely relate as I was single for a long period of time before the right man entered into my life.

There are days though that as much as I adore these wonderful single women, I just want to shake them and say "snap out of it"! Because, the fact of the matter is that the grass is not always greener on the other side. I am a true testimony to that. When I was single, my life was lacking in love, but it was unbelievably full. I was busy, I was hanging out with my girlfriends, we were going and doing things. Dinners, movies, lunches, theatre, spa dates, girl parties, you name it the sky was the limit. We took courses and learned new things, we went for cocktails and sat at pubs. We traveled, we ate, we drank wine, we giggled, we ooohed and aaahhed, we wished for, we dreamed together, we shared our hopes, our thoughts, our desires but mostly, we bonded. We bonded so strongly and developed a sisterly love for each other that we hoped would stand the test of time. We were wrong.

I wouldn't trade my better half for the world, but a part of my life died when we became a couple. No longer able to go out on a moment's whim to a girl function, my life became dictated around what we as a couple had planned. This is part of being a considerate person in the relationship. Listen, I realize that your life does not end the moment you are in relationship, but if you think that you are going to spend the same amount of time with your girlfriends, you are wrong. When you enter into a relationship, you have to think of your partner and their needs, as well as your own, and spending the quality time with them to make your relationship grow, or it just won't work. Especially in today's society when we are all working so hard in our lives, from careers, to children, to family, to friends, something will always have to take a backseat as there is just not enough time in the day.

So what am I trying to say here: well, I love my better half. You all know that. He is fun, crazy, weird, goofy, and for someone who asked me yesterday, yes he does have his sense of smell, he just doesn't care that I fart (thank gawd or this relationship would have ended on day one!). But the fact of the matter is that the special girl time that you as single women are enjoying is invaluable, memorable, wonderful, indescribable and nothing in the world compares to the bonding of women. Being single is such a special time in your life. It is complete freedom, there is no one to answer to but yourself, it is moments of indulgence, it is moments of yourself, it is about you, and only wonderful you, and I am even choking up as I write this as that is how much I miss it.

Value what you have, whether that be a relationship, or whether that be singleness. There are perks and downfalls to each. But whatever stage of life you are in, enjoy that ride until it comes to an end because I can tell you that for every single girl standing with her face pressed against a window looking in at a couple, there is a woman in a relationship standing on the other side of that window looking out at the single girl with a longing and her arms outstretched.

Now I am going to go and blow my nose and fix my mascara and hope that you will still love me after this crazy rant.

In the meantime, note that I am only speaking from my perspective and that I am pms-ing *blink blink*...

Until Next Time.
Smooches Pooches