The Long Hair cometh, the Long Hair goeth (with a great big old yank!)

Oh the joys of being a woman and the joys of getting older as a woman.  You know, I am a fair haired, blue eyed chick.  Hair on my body (with the exception of my head) from the neck down has never been an issue with me.  I have never had to shave my thighs, nothing there basically.  I am pretty hairless in my bikini area (I know, lucky me!). I virtually have no hair on my arms with the exception of a few blonde scragglers but nothing to write home about.

But the other day, I had the biggest shock of my female life.  I was sitting looking at myself in my 300 x magnification mirror checking out my overly large pores when I noticed something bizarre on the outside of my right nostril. Was it an eyelash, no it was too straight.  Was it an eyebrow, no not thick enough.  Was it a fibre off a piece of clothing, no it wasn’t that either.  On closer examination I realized that whatever it was, was attached to my face!  Oh are you kidding me!!!! Oh my freaking lord, I have a hair growing straight out of the side of my nostril.  No, not in my nostril.  But on the outside growing in a complete straight line towards my cheek bone.  It was so straight and so long that I am sure if I swung my head around quickly, I could have taken someone’s eye right out!  It had camouflaged itself into a very lovely shade of blonde and oh how it blended with my skin tones.

In that moment of seeing that unwanted nose hair, I screamed in horror.  My poor better half came flying down the stairs at an alarming rate.  He grabbed my pudgy face and said “what honey, what’s wrong, are you hurt, did you fall?”  No I sobbed and then pointed to my nostril “look can you see it?”  He strained his eyes until he caught a glimpse of the offending appendage and than he said those magical words “oh great, I am engaged to an ape!”  And then he laughed all the way down the hallway! 

It dawned on me at that moment that my worst nightmare was starting to come true.  Years ago when I was a wee lass, I had seen this older plump Italian woman, and not only did she have a full on foo manchu moustache, but she was sporting her best Robin Hood goatee.  I had nightmares about her facial hair for years and I guess you could say I have been obsessed with hair on my face ever since than. 

So with my best set of tweezers, I plucked that bugger right out of my nose and let me tell you, it didn’t go with out a fight! Because as I was tugging at it, my nostril was being pulled at the same time!  By the time, that bloody little thing popped out, my poor nostril had been stretched to a two finger width!

On a side note, I was telling my mom about it and the first thing she said was “Oh gawd, please don’t blog about this!”  Sorry mom!

In any event, me and my nostril are not going to be thwarted by a hair.  Do you think that they do laser hair removal for one hair off the nostril?  Too much?

Oh well, perhaps I will just let it grow.  Maybe if I just let it grow long enough, it will be able to scratch my cheek!  See, always a bright side people, always a bright side!

Until Next Time.
Smooches Pooches