DRATS!!!!!!!! I have been thwarted!

With 45 pounds off my frame, and no unwanted sugar messing with my already haphazard lump that I affectionately call my body, I have to admit that I have been going thru the last 5 months rather swimmingly.  With a decrease in inflammation and increase in energy and positivity, I have been almost a bit of joy to be around.  I can even admit to the fact that I kind of like myself, of course not love myself, but like is a first good step in mending a rather precarious relationship between an active and independent mind with a crazily stubborn and unhappy body.

It's been amazing not being at odds with the mechanics of myself, and while I can't run a marathon (yet), I have been doing stuff and feeling more joyful than I have in years. And while there has been the odd setback here and there, for the most part, after a day of rest I feel exuberant again.

And just as I thought I was on the uphill battle reaching my goal of all encompassing happiness, or at the very least being painfree,  "it" came crashing down... "It" being the operative word for this pain in my ass autoimmune disease. I suppose I am having some difficulties coming to terms with the ridiculous nature of the autoimmune disease.  I never seem to have a prewarning and there is no precursor to when it will strike.  Such was this past weekend.

I had driven an hour north to one of my favourite home decor stores in an effort to perhaps redecorate my place.  I often do that every few years, it's the designer in me and I love change, well at least in my home.  Putting a new spin on my digs makes me feel alive and adding new bursts of colour gets my mojo all revved up.

So in my heyday of grabbing this candle holder here, and that pillow there, followed by this vase and that vase, and running from aisle to aisle like a kid in a candy store, I neglected to pay attention to some swelling I was feeling in my ankle and knee.  It seemed minor in nature and I wasn't concerned about it as to me it just represented a leftover from a breakage from three years ago.

But, as I was rounding the corner with my arms full of my new glorious finds, I experienced a sharp pain in the back of my knee that took my breath away, and without any warning, my knee locked and gave out, and down I went like the big bag of Russets potatoes that I am.  *THUMP*.  To my shock, and to everyone else's amazement, I realized that instead of saving myself, I saved my new found objects d'art.  There I laid  crumpled on the ground whilst still holding tightly to myself all the beautiful things I had hunted for over the last hour.  With a big sigh of relief, I checked to make sure nothing was broken (not me people, the home accessories!), and smiled when I realized that everything was intact (except myself).  Oh come on, it was all mercury glass from India, bowls from Spain and vases from Italy.  Sheesh, a girl has to have her priorities in place!

As I stood up and dusted myself off, I wandered quickly over to the check out, paid for my purchases and bolted before the whispering of "did you see that girl take out aisle number 5.  Yea I did, there's still a big butt print in the floor to prove it!"

Things haven't gotten much better over the last 5 days, as it locked again and I succumbed to a big *THUD* while watering my plants outside the other day (I am still apologizing to my poor plant that has my body print in it), not too mention the rather large *CRASH* as I fell into the linen closet last night whilst I was vacuuming, or the fact that while I sit here and type for a living, my whole leg has that dreaded pins and needles feeling.  In any event, the fact remains that while my mind may be yelling "DRATS! I have been thwarted!", my body is saying "hold on, give me a break, I am just trying to catch up to you."

And you know what, it's okay, because my body is teaching me patience, but mostly, it's reminding and re-enforcing in me that old adage "good things come to those who wait.."  So I am waiting for you body, you take your time to heal, you have already come a long way in 5 months, and I am so proud of you and I can't wait to see where you take me in the next year but for gawd sakes, next time you lock up and take me down, can we do it when my arms and hands are empty!  Sheesh!

Until Next Time.

Cheers
Tracy