THE BICYCLE BLUES

So in the quest for the YEAR OF ME and taking control of the pain and living on the healthy side of life, I thought, somewhere in my bird brain, I would chuck some cardio back into my every day life.

Don't you just love it when you think you can just pick up from where you were like three years ago?

Luckily for me, my better half works in the bike industry and hooked me up with a great little mountain bike that we set up on a trainer in the house.  He even went so far as to increase the length in my stem and handle bars so I wouldn't have to bend and strain my back so much. And bless his little heart, he got me a woman's specific seat covered in a soothing gel seat cover.  Yea for my bum!!!  Now, I was all set to go!

I had been fantasizing all about it yesterday.  So, I donned on my bike gear this morning, admired myself and thought hey I kind of look like I know what I am doing.  And then I strutted my stuff in the hopes of being the envy of my neighbourhood.  Okay, being the envy of my four walls while I sit there and peddle and watch TV, but nonetheless I could imagine the wush of the air against my face, I could dream about riding down hills with my hair blowing wildly in the wind all the while getting that rider's glow and feeling the endorphins pumping thru my body.  Oh yea, I was bringing sexy back to cycling!

Yup, it goes without saying that in my bicycle fantasy, I was looking just like this:

Sadly, I didn't even come close to looking like this:

Nope, in reality, I looked more like this:

And when I got off that damn bugger after five intensive minutes of sheer agony, I walked like I had been riding this:

And then I walked over to my bathroom, stepped on my scale, and *DAMN* I didn't even move an ounce.  So I was left with no other alternative than to do this:

And then I went down stairs and ate this:

And sadly, I am now laying down doing this:

Oh yah... I have sexy down to a science!

Until Next Time.

Smooches