HUMPBACK WEDNESDAY: You’ve got Mail! (Uggh)

Did I ever tell you much I detest email.  Well I do.  It comes to me in droves.  Droves People!  I often fantasize about going to Ray Tomlinson’s home, the creator of email, and beating him over the head with my keyboard.  Violent?  Perhaps, but I have a good reason to abhor this form of communication.

You see back in the early days of working in an office, you sent a letter, several weeks later you received a letter with your answer and the working pace of an office ran smoothly and evenly.  Now, people find you instantly, whether by phone, by fax or by dreaded email.  They contact you the moment the question enters their brain and want an answer immediately.  You spend so much of your time dealing with the “instant” issues that the other work piles up higher and higher and higher until you are drowning under the weight of it all.  Email, in my personal opinion, has taken away our ability to be patient.

And when it comes to work, my email box runneth over. And I am not kidding when I say it comes in droves because it comes to me in forms of instructions, memos, answers to questions, questions about questions, notes on things that have been done or need to be done, but whatever it is, it comes constantly and instantly.  In seven and half months, my boss alone has sent me almost 2000 emails.  Yes you heard it here first, 2000 emails in 7.5 months. And that is just the emails from him, it doesn't include everyone else! Can you imagine if it was regular post office/snail mail and you received 2000 letters from the same person in 7.5 months?  Firstly, you would probably be considered a celebrity, because who else would get 2000 letters in 7.5 months, and or your boss might be considered a stalker, because let’s face it, 2000 letters in 7.5 months is bordering on someone who possibly has issues with OCD or is slightly on the edge of craziness!  And it goes without saying that if I received 2000 letters from regular mail in 7.5 months from the same person, I would be looking at getting a restraining order!

And then you get home and power up your computer and WHAM, and there it is in all it’s spam glory, hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of jokee type emails or “informative” emails on all the things that can and will make you sick and/or the ones that talk about the different religions taking over the world in order to breathe fear into your life, or gawd forbid, the never ending chain mails that tell you that your luck will run out if you don’t forward it on in the next 5 minutes to 5000 of your closest friends.  Well I have news for you, I have seen and heard pretty much every single email joke at least a 100 times, it wasn’t funny the first time and it was a whole lot less funnier the 100th time, and by the way, everything you eat these days is pretty much loaded with carcgenics in it, so unless you are going to teach me how to eat organically, please move on, and as for religion, well religion has been fighting with other religions for thousands of years, why we can’t just each have our own religion and live peacefully together is beyond me, clearly we are not as evolved as we think we are, and as for you chain mail email, my luck ran out years ago, so bring it baby, cause this woman is ready!

Am I a tad cranky, perhaps.  Okay most likely.  But the fact remains that I am not interested in the nonsequential things, I am more interested in you and what you have to say and those type of emails are always welcome in my book.  So the next time you wish to forward me the irish luck email that says that I will fall into a twelve foot deep well where I will be bitten in the ass by a leprechaun with rabies, followed by a banshee pulling out my hair, and where the fairy folk will cause me to grow a large wart on my nose and turn one of my teeth black if I don't forward it on, you may wish to consider not sending that to me, because darlin if you do, you better start running because I will hunt you down and will beat you senseless with my keyboard!

Until Next Time.

Smooches Pooches

Disclaimer:  This blog was created today by a highly cranky woman.... Oh come on, you didn't think that I would be sweet and happy all the time did you?  Sheesh!!!!