THURSDAY TOOTS: It’s the case of the Wild Greys (OH NO, in more places than one!!)

Damn those Swedish Roots of mine, literally.  And the roots I am talking about, are my hair roots.  Yup, I have been blessed with grey hair since I was 24 years old.  Unfortunately naive on this front, I really thought in my scattered brain that I would miss the dreaded grey affliction that had haunted my grandmother, my father and my brother, namely, sporting a full head of grey hair before the ripe old age of 30.

I was positively positive that my hair would follow the likes of my mother’s Scottish ancestry, oh what a wee innocent lass I was trapped in my delusional thoughts.  Of course, I prefer to believe that I was just an upbeat young thing.

And then it happened, I was 24 and it was Christmas Eve and I was staying at my mother’s.  We were having a lovely evening together, just the two of us watching holiday movies and chit chatting about what “Santa” was going to bring us.  Oh come on, don’t roll your eyes, of course I still believe in Santa Claus.  It’s important to always believe in magic.

Oops, sorry, I digress...

Anywhoooo, my mother glanced over at me with a puzzled look in her eyes and said “I think you have something sparkly in your hair.”  I do?  I jumped up and sauntered over to the mirror and thought, hey what is that.  Gave it a yank and to my surprise it was a massively long grey hair.  No, I don’t mean an inch long, not even two inches long, this sucker was a good 7 inches long if not more.  Of course being in denial, I was sure that this was just a freak of nature. I mean lets face it, if I had more, surely I would see them, this was just a rogue strand episode.  But wait, perhaps I should take a closer look on the safe side, and you know what? On closer inspection I saw.... OH MY GAWD, another one, followed by another one, followed by two more, OH MY FREAKING LORD, is that a clump of them there?  By the time I finished yanking out my pre-Christmas surprises, I was bangless and had a two inch by two inch radius of hair gone from my noggin.  Perhaps, I was a tad excitable when I went to town on my head but it wasn’t the point, the point was I WAS GOING GREY!  And let me say for the record, grey is not a good colour on me!

<-----------Things started popping in my head such as, was I going to look like her.  Was I on my way to being an old lady before my time and good lord was there a pharmacy open on Christmas Eve where I could get some type of dye, not too mention something fuzzy that could now cover up my newly created bald spot to boot!  Uggghhhhhhhh!

By the time New Years rolled around, I had officially seen the last of my natural honey toned hue.  My hair colour now lied in the greedy hands of the hair dye manufacturers. And I can tell you that it didn’t go well for me in the beginning.  I just couldn’t quite seem to get the right tone on my head, one month I was a brunette, the next month I was ash blonde, some times I was orange!  ORANGE PEOPLE!!! And then, one day, I finally realized that I was in serious need of professional help, no not that kind of help, the kind of help that could change my hot pink hair back to blond. Perhaps, I did require other professional help as well to deal with my obsession, but when it came down to a hair stylist or a psychologist, I am sure you can figure out which one I chose!

Unfortunately for me, the scariest part of all of this is the fact that I am now starting to see the odd grey in other areas of my body as well.  I have become a bit of a contortionist on the hunt for rogue grey hair, which I will tell you is no easy feat with this unbendable short stubby body.  So far I have found one on my knee cap and two in my eyebrows and I fear where else they will start sprouting.  Oh the joys of getting older.

Well, I can tell you that it has been many years since I started my monthly dye jobs and I often wonder how much of my brain has been eaten away by the chemicals and how much, if any, I have contributed to my  own future in the land of dementia.  I suppose I can’t worry about it.  And in any event, one thing is for sure, no matter how loopy I become from sucking back the copious amounts of chemicals, I will always rock the golden hair do!

Until Next Time.
Smooches Pooches

Disclaimer:  I have no idea who either of these women are, but you can be sure if it was a picture of me, the hair would be a stunning shade of blond... tee hee!