Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A Chocolate Walk of Shame


Well it started off innocently enough, at least that is what I told myself.

Be organized, beat the rush, gather your goodies now blah blah blah.  

In essence, this is what really happened.

It was a glorious Wednesday afternoon, and I, in all my glory, sauntered down on my lunch hour to the town's chocolatier to gather up what would be some yummy delectable goodies for my better half and my mother.  I roamed around the shelves for what seemed like an eternity picking this treat and that treat and this goody and that goody and then dropped a substantial amount of money on the custom made treats for my beloved and my amazing mother.

I told myself that with Valentine's day less than a week away, that it would be best if I hid the chocolate at my office in order to avoid the prying and overly attentive eyes of that man that I call my better half.  Like the nose of a bloodhound, I could foresee my Valentine's Surprise going sideways if those gooey delish items were somehow hidden at home, as in all likelihood they would be snuffed out instantly with that ancestral Lebanese nose that my better half sports upon his handsome face.

This was, as it turns out, my biggest mistake.

By Thursday at lunch, those glorious chocolate were calling my name, beckoning me with their sweetness, taunting me with their rich flavour and I thought to myself (or perhaps justified to myself) that I had bought so much, how could one simple chocolate be missed.  I would soon use that excuse again an hour later, and again, a half hour later.  

By Friday, the first signs of my impending doom would be fully noticeable upon my chin where a now volcano sized eruption had appear.  You would think, or better yet you would hope, that the zit upon my face would have deterred me from ravishing the remaining chocolates, but no, sadly no, I would reach for another chocolate the moment I walked into the office come Friday morning, and again by mid morning. And by lunch time, the evidence of my devouring nature was circled around my lips like a glorious halo of oooey gooey velvety brown goodness.

It was obvious to myself and the multitude of empty wrappers by Friday afternoon, that I would have to somehow muster up my courage and open up my wallet to replace what I had so willingly sucked back in a mere few days.

By the time I returned to the office, I felt safe in the notion that the chocolate would be locked up and away from me for two solid days.  A sufficient enough time frame for me to forget those teasers, to get on with my life, and to devour apples in the same glorious way that I sucked the filling out of those damn chocolate filled treats.  But alas, I was tormented.  Tormented I say.  Tormented for two full days, dreaming and craving and dreaming and craving those stinking zit making gloriously filled treat temptations.

By Monday morning, I was nearly running up the stairs and drooling at the corners of my mouth as I burst thru my office doors like a crazy woman shedding her clothing off during a menopausal hot flash.  "Come to momma!!!!" the words popped out of my mouth!  And with no will power whatsoever, I downed every last piece within an one hour sitting.

As I sat there moaning and groaning partly over my stupidity, partly over my gluttony, and mostly over my serious lack of self control, it dawned on me, Valentines was the next day and I had eaten the gifts of love for the ones that I loved.

And as lunch hour approached, I grabbed my wallet, and with what little self respect I had, waddled my way down once again to the chocolatier.  And with a look of disgust upon the sales clerk's face (or just my guilty conscious taking over), I picked out the replacement items, and then did what every respectable woman does, I held my head high, handed over my money, grabbed not one but two pieces of free chocolate from the tray at the cash register, gave the clerk a wink and did the Chocolate walk of shame right out of her store.

Until Next Time.

Tracy

21 comments:

  1. Hahahha that could totally happen to me. It's addicting!

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  2. LOL The chocolate walk of shame. Nice. :o)

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  3. now you need to remember this for next time. don't buy ahead. only buy at the exact moment the gift is needed and only buy a small portion so that any you ate would be sorely missed.
    i miss chocolate. and this post didn't help at all!

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  4. So do they know you on a first name basis now (tee,hee)
    It is totally hard to stay away from something so delectable.
    However, I have pretty good will power with my chocolates....so when I get some, I HIDE them from my husband. Who likes to eat them faster then I do.

    My weakeness is salty things...like salt and vinegar potatoe chips.

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  5. Hahahaha! I always sneak the hidden candy before the holidays. I have no control either. Now I have to buy it just before I need it!
    -Lynn

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  6. If I added up all my chocolate walks of shame it would amount to a 26.5 K marathon.

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  7. Proud of you! Ya did good. The clerks always ask me if I'm having a party or something. Ha!

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  8. Did you go back the day after Valentine's to see what was on sale? Wink, wink!

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  9. Bahahahaha! Don't feel bad, I've walked this walk before too!

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  10. I can't keep snacks of any kind close to me. Even if it is something I normally won't eat, I'll eat it cause it's there.

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  11. My chocolate walk of shame is in my kitchen straight to the cupboard to fish out chocolate chips....

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  12. There was a programme on UK TV last week about our relationship with chocolate. The most interesting thing was that they looked at brain scans of people thinking about chocolate and actually eating the stuff and the "happy" signal in the brain was equal for both! So, Tracy, you don't need to eat it! Just put it on your desk and look at it! (as if!)

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  13. I could actually visualize your doing this! Great story telling. NEVER bring chocolate to your office! It's just too tempting, I know...believe me I know.

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  14. I'm so happy most American Chocolate tastes like wax, so I barely relate to this story, but I will say that in my Switzerland Days, I've done similar things. Oh well, better luck next time. :)

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  15. And THAT is why I'm greatful that Laurie isn't the chocolate addict I am. I could do that and get no more than an, "Oh, well."

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  16. You're SO not alone, sweetie.~ I gave up chocolate (and all sweets) for Lent and I cry for 40 days and 40 nights straight.

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  17. You have me laughing away to myself here Tracy!!

    Chocolate. Its both my enemy and lover all rolled into one.
    Im not ashamed to say that this week I broke up a bar of chocolate and put it on top of a rather large soft choc chip cookie.......All because there wasn't enough choc chunks in the cookie. I then heated it in the microwave for a couple seconds until the chocolate melted on top. It was washed down with a mug of hot chocolate......It was a little piece of heaven during a stressful day.......;)A girl needs a pick me up every now and again!

    My weighing scales are broken since Christmas, so Im living in ignorant bliss right now LOL! Im sure to be shocked when I finally haul my ass onto a scale soon :((

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