Friday, October 29, 2010


It's an Average Life has gone to the papers!

Yup, I am officially a published writer with my monthly column in the Lifestyles section of a newspaper.  And, I can barely believe it!

When the paper arrived today, I was like a kid in a candy store.  In fact, after my better half phoned me at work to let me know, I was bouncing in my seat. Up and down, up and down, up and down like a complete moron!  My whole body was tingling and I felt like I was going to explode with joy!  Literally, it took all my self control not to run down the streets of my little town screaming at the top of my lungs (not that anyone would notice, as it is pretty much par for the course here). 

And the joy has not faded!  But I have to tell you something, I couldn't read my article.  Can you believe it?  I was absolutely embarrassed and I am not sure why!

All these crazy weird thoughts have been running thru my mind like: What the heck are these people going to think of me?  Nuts?  Perhaps... Weird? Most definitely... Will they ask the editor to scrap me... Will they arrive at the Newspaper with pitchforks asking for the removal of my crazy article.  Or gawd forbid, write into the Editor to criticize!  I have this ridiculous notion that I am setting myself up for failure and I am not sure my ego can take it.  So much easier to hide away behind my screen! Ugghh!

I suppose only time will tell.  In the meantime, I am basking in this one moment of glory.  My less than 10 seconds of mediocre fame.  A fleeting moment?  Perhaps...  But definitely a memorable one!

Until Next Time.
Smooches Pooches

PS  Thank you to all the new followers who signed up recently.  You have definitely made my week!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

THURSDAY TOOTS: And the War of the Wedgies

I often think of myself as a ninja, a klutzy one that often falls and breaks bones and bonks her head a few times and is most certainly lacking stealth like precision, but a ninja when it comes to the art of wedgies.

Oh yes, my better half and I have engaged in sneak attack wedge-a-fying for seven long years.  Being that he’s a tall man, and I am a short chickalet, wedgies became my maneuver of choice and began out of my frustration of never being able to get the upper hand on a momentary play fight.  You see, my better half needs to only stick out his long annoying arm and secure his bony hand to my forehead, and well let’s just say that reaching him with my short appendages is next too impossible. And as I flail my arms here and there, it causes me much humiliation while he mockingly laughs at my inability to get at him.

Not one for backing down after being bested, I developed my ninja wedgie strategy early on in our relationship.  Ah yes, in the beginning  when he least expected it, I would get behind him, grab the back of his underwear and hike it up as hard as my short little arms could go and watch him stand up on his tip toes screaming like the little girl I knew he was.  Oh the pure joy of one upping him was beyond pleasurable, in fact I would say I was euphoric with my new found ability.

Unfortunately many years later, and perhaps one too many sneak attacks, and he’s onto me. With the knowledge he has gained over the years of reading my face and movements, he has developed his own keen sixth sense of when a secret wedgie attack is about to happen.  In one quick deft movement, we often find ourselves in an embrace, with my hands around his waist pulling his underwear up, and his hands around my waist pulling my underwear up with both of us yelling:

“Say uncle.”

“No you say uncle.”

“You say uncle first!”


“Let go for gawd sakes!”

“No you let go!”. 

This impasse can go on for a very long period of time while we both teeter on the tips of our toes and our lovely dulcet tones become banshee-like shrills.  Neither one of us willing to let go due to our genetically imprinted stubborn streaks, we often stay in that position until we ultimately hear “rrrrrrrrrrrriiiipppp”.

Oh yes it is true my friends, between the two of us, we have bought so many pairs of replacement underwear that we should own full shares in Fruit of the Looms and Hanes.

I suppose I won’t stop these sneak attacks until I have reach my ultimate goal of an atomic wedgie status.  You know, when you pull the underwear up so high that you can stick it over the victim’s head.  The fact that he is a foot taller than me is not deterring me at all from my goal!  One day that man is going to be 80 years old and not so spry in his movements, and when that day comes, I will have my atomic wedgie revenge.  It won’t be that difficult, I’ll just trip him with my cane, grab the back of his undies and yank them to the moon!  Let’s just hope the Depends are as stretchy as his Fruit of the Looms.

Until Next Time.
Smooches Pooches

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Let me just start by saying that I am overwhelmed and touched by the beautiful comments left yesterday, and while my head is still enveloped in this vice grip, it is nothing compared to what others suffer daily. But yesterday after reading all the comments, I felt much like the Grinch where my heart grew ten times and I cannot thank you enough.  So to lighten the mood a little. I thought I would blog about 10 odd things about myself, and then come back and see if you are still a follower.... ha ha ha

Okay, here we go:

1.  I have never had a cavity in my entire life. Nope no cavities no braces. And ironically neither has my brother. We have saved our parents mucho moula! And yes, we are the freaky stepford children.

2. I eat pickles with mayonnaise spread on them. Yes gross to some, a delicacy of the unusual to me!

3. I knew at the age of 5 years old I was never going to have children. A friend of mine told my wee little self all the gory details about giving birth and I had nightmares for years. I'm still scarred by it.  Of course, she went on to have a bunch of children!  The wench!

4. Once when I was young, I told my mother she was very bad and when she turned away from me, I swatted her with a wooden spoon so hard that it broke across her hiney. There's still a well deserved hand print on my ass to this day!

5. When I was 7 years old, we went to Disneyland. The week before we arrived, Donny Osmond had been at our hotel and had secured the entire floor that we ended up staying on. My father gave me a pair of purple socks while we were there (as Donny was well known for wearing purple socks) and said the housekeeping staff found them. Every night for years, I use to put them on my feet and sleep with them.  And of course, it goes without saying that I wouldn't wash them, as I didn't want to wash "Donny" off the socks. What's worse, is that I held onto those bloody socks for 20 years before I found out they were my dad's stinky leftovers! My mother still breaks out in a giggle over this some 30 something years later.  In fact, when I read this to her, she laughed her face off.  Oh the joys of parents!

6. I have small lips but I am still able to balance a spoon above my lip and below my lip at the same time (yes you heard it here first)!  Of course, I do look like a complete ape when I do it. 

7. I cannot drink beer. The first time I ever did the teenage drunk thing was due to drinking a case of warm beer, and unfortunately, I was hung over for three days. Twenty-five years later, and the smell of beer can still make hurl.

8. When I was in my mid 20's I went to Scotland and while there I experienced a flurry of "flash backs" to a previous life in a prior century. It did not matter if I was walking or sitting, all of a sudden a flash of another life would appear briefly before my eyes. Not too mention that every thing was crazily familiar to me. And I couldn't stop feeling this deep unending sadness and heartache. As soon as I left Scotland so did all the flashes and feelings.

9. I often know when people close to me have died long before I have been told. I have even woken up at the exact time of death of one of my grandfathers.  Ironically, I never feel sad, I almost feel like they came and said goodbye to me.

10. I have a crazy collection of Lucille Ball memorabilia.  When I was 12 years old, I was sure I was related to her.  Of course, I am sure she was glad not to be related to me!  On a side note, I was a very unusual child, I use to write to celebrities and send them little books with my 8 year old pictures and drawings in it and tell them about my country bumpkin kind of life.  I still have a postcard from Cher and a photo from Barbra Streisand... I suppose after 10 letters or so, they just gave in and wrote me to shut me up!  By the way after 10 letters of devotion to Donny Osmond, all I got back for my effort, was a catalogue to their Mormon products.  Sheesh!

There you have it in all my craziness.
Still want to hang around?
Perhaps, better yet, you will share a crazy moment of yours!

Until Next Time.
Smooches Pooches

    Monday, October 18, 2010


    Several times a year, I get this complete sense of sadness, loss and ever so slightly a touch of despair. Some individuals call it s.a.d.s. disease, and yet others call it depression. I call it a loss of my joy, better known as Tracy’s Chronic Pain Syndrome. Moments where I am in so much pain, that trying to locate my joy is next to impossible. And I spend the day questioning the reason why I am placed on this earth. Wondering how I can make a difference in someone’s life for the better when I have such raw painful days that stop me in my tracks. I wonder how am I suppose to leave a positive imprint on this earth when I feel desperately sad by limitations.

    In essence, I question what my purpose is.

    Being a spiritual person with strong beliefs in caring for the planet, I often wonder why the fates would let me live in a constant state of pain which limits my life and all that I wish to do. And why simple things like standing and watching my youngest niece’s soccer game on Saturday would leave me in chronic agony come Sunday.

    I often wonder if I am not a good enough person and whether I am being punished for something I am unaware of.

    I have actual moments of wanting to shut down my facebook page, close up shop on my blog and runaway. Lucky for me that I am so sore that running away is next to impossible, and what you would see is this stiff girl doing a whacked out hop jog down the road all the while yelling: “oooh, owww, ouch, good grief, oh my gawd”. So now for me, running away constitutes walking down the hallway and soaking in a bathtub for two hours until:

    a. the bath water gets so cold that I cannot feel my toes or my boobs; or

    b. I get so shriveled up that there is not much difference between the look of a raison or my butt cheeks, except that my butt cheeks are significantly larger.

    So yes today is a moment of sadness for me. A moment where I would like to sit down and have a really good cry. A moment where I feel useless. A moment where I feel like a burden on others. A moment, just a moment.

    The pain does that too me unfortunately. It drains me of my joy.

    And today, as corny as it sounds, I just need to throw out the following:  "Oh joy, where are you today?  I miss you so much, that my heart hurts. How I could do with your warm hug and embrace. Come back soon as I am getting tired of continually fighting these painful days. And I am not sure how much more fight I have left."

    I am so sorry that you have become an unlikely guest at my pity party for one.

    At least, tomorrow is another day.  And perhaps a better one at that. 

    And as pathetic as this sounds, I am going to buy some joy today, namely, the Cole Haan purse I saw on sale.. And yes, I know what you are thinking, because I am thinking it too. 

    Thank you for listening.

    Until Next Time.
    Smooches Pooches

    Saturday, October 16, 2010


    Often, I giggle about my little redneck town.  I jokingly tell people that it's a place where cousins marry cousins and everyone has a third nipple or one eyeball in the middle of their forehead... But in all seriousness, there are days where parts of it take my breath away.  Here's a little tour of our lovely city square:

    From moments at the sweet little boutique carrying imported cosmetics

    To stopping by on a Saturday for the local farmers market

    Or perhaps a stroll thru the vintage store for great finds

    And if your feet are tired, maybe a moment of 
    pampering at the spa

    What times does that say?
    I still have some more time to shop! Yahoo!

    But if my time is running out,
    perhaps I could hang out the window
    and watch the comings and goings of 
    downtown life

    But if not, I will head into
    one of my favourite clothing stores

    Followed by a leisurely stroll
    thru the french inspired boutique

    And since I was downtown too long,
    I will make sure I swing by and pay
    my parking ticket at City Hall!

    All in all, not too bad of a day today!
    How was yours?

    I hope your weekend brings you
    wonderful surprises and great finds!

    This weekend I am linking up with
    for hosting same.

    Until Next Time.
    Smooches Pooches

    Thursday, October 14, 2010

    THURSDAY TOOTS: And Women Who Pollute!

    I’m pooped.

    I am utterly exhaustified.   Yes I know, exhaustified is not a word. But early on in age, I did develop my own personal dictionary of words.  This is one of them.

    I want to chalk it up to the weather, but I would be lying.

    You see, I am so tired that I am at a giddy point.  You know that point where you get so absolutely goofy that you say goofy things and you act goofy.  You notice that people are rolling their eyes at you and walking away while shaking their heads and you just giggle all the more.

    In fact, my initial post for today was all about how I inadvertently gassed out my better half yesterday after I gorged on garbanzo beans for lunch, a “fart” bar for a snack, followed by turkey for dinner.  I started to tell you how I was so bad that my better half actually sequestered me into a room all by myself, opened all the windows and shut the door and told me not to come out until my “little problem” subsided. I have to tell you that I was so racked in gaseous pain that I was literally lying on the floor rocking back and forth whilst moaning and squeaking out, okay sonic booming out, noises that no woman should ever make!!! And what’s more, little did my better half know that my “little problem” would last well into the early hours of this morning.  And unfortunately for him, it was a whole night of me lying in bed *poofing*, followed by my non stop giggling and various versions of “oops, sorry honey”, followed by my better half jumping out of bed, fanning the sheets back and forth frantically and yelling “OH COME ON!”.  Makes me giggle now as I think about it.  And now you know why I am tired.  Nope, there was no romance in our house last night and I think I took our relationship to a whole new level for which we won’t be able to come from.  I even think my better half may require some counseling for post traumatic stress disorder. I have scarred him.

    Anywhoooo, after I wrote the post, I laughed and laughed and laughed so hard that mascara was rolling off my cheeks right onto my shirt.

    And then I thought to myself, hmmm okay Tracy, you are tired and everything is making you giggle.  Perhaps your lovely blogger friends may not appreciate, or find as funny, a post regarding 10 hours of flatulence.

    So I won’t elaborate any further except to say that I am done with those “fart” bars.  I have fried too many nostrils of too many people from eating those darn delectably tasting, wonderfully yummy, butt burning bars.

    Neither my friends nor my family look at me the same way anymore.  And I am supposing it will take years of me acting like a lady to undo the damage I have created over the last couple of months.

    Oh who am I kidding, this weekend I am going to go to Costco to buy another round of them.  This time, though, I have thought ahead:  I will hide them, eat them in secret and just blame the stench on my dog!

    Until Next Time.
    Smooches Pooches

    Wednesday, October 13, 2010

    COCKTAIL HOUR: I’ll have another round bartender

    It’s been a day for myself and my family while we deal with an ailing family member.
    So too selfishly cheer myself up, I have declared today “COCKTAIL HOUR”....

    And you know what that means my darlings...

    It’s time for a virtual drinky pooh or perhaps two.

    And as I down my first lovely Apple Martini of the night and I get that flush to my cheeks and my ears, I giggle ever so slightly as I reminisce about my 20's and all the wild moments I had. Always pegged as the good girl, I love to think of my "not so good girl" years.

    And just as I am deep into my memories, a very tall, handsome stranger sits down beside me and says:

    “Hello gorgeous, did anyone tell you that your baby blues could bring a man to his knees?”

    I think, oh hell, couldn’t you come up with a better line than that. And then I think to myself, who cares, he’s gorgeous. Suck it all back woman!

    So I girlishly giggle and outrageously batt my baby blues to make a point and say in my best soft cooing voice:

    “Why of course, and why wouldn’t you fall to your knees in my presence. I am after all the woman of your fantasies....but then again I am EVERY man's fantasy.”

    He throws his head back in a deep throaty laugh and then turns to me and smiles that sly cheshire cat smile that says he could eat me up in one sitting. And just staring at him and his dark sensual brooding good looks propels me into a hot flash, and then he says:

    “I heard your mischievous giggle from where I was sitting and wondered what you found so amusing?"

    I can’t help myself, but I want to divulge little secrets I have told so very few. But I don’t want to blow my good girl image, an image I have cultivated for so many years.

    And then he says:

    “C’mon beautiful, share just three of your most intimate secrets.”

    And I think, what the hell, I will never see him again and as I whisper them so that the bartender cannot hear, I watch for his reaction.

    Stunned, he says:

    “Oh you good girls, you make a man weep for more.”

    “I know” says me “and I like it that way”.

    And then I get up, pay my tab and leave, but not before I give him one more head toss and look up from under my eye lashes.

    He sighs, downs his drink in one shot, looks around for his next opportunity and spies you.

    And then in his most huskiest voice, he turns his full attention onto You and asks you to share three of your most intimate secrets...

    And you say:


    A flower's appeal is in its contradictions - so delicate in form yet strong in fragrance, so small in size yet big in beauty, so short in life yet long on effect. ~Terri Guillemets

    Time to close your eyes little one 
    and go to sleep for the winter.
    Until we meet again in the Spring,
    I'll dream of your beauty.

    Until Next Time.
    Smooches Pooches

    Tuesday, October 12, 2010

    TO AWARD OR NOT TO AWARD... that is the question

    I am having a dilemma my friends... In fact, I would call it a crisis of my conscience and I am left trying to sort out what to do next. 

    It’s to do with these blog awards that are going around.

    Several weeks back, Cinderita and Frisky Virgin awarded me both with a Blog with Substance Award and then the following week, the delightful Frisky Virgin gave me another one entitled One Lovely Blog Award.  It goes without saying that I was thrilled, not because, I was walking the red carpet and receiving a Lifetime Achievement Award, but the fact that two people considered my blog worthy enough to mention me and add my link on their blog.  Basically, in this act of kindness, they brought traffic to my blog without me lifting one single finger on the keyboard.

    I did my thing and graciously accepted and followed the instructions and then I posted my blog with a list of 10 deserving blogs (in my opinion all are deserving) that had inspired me in one capacity or another.  Imagine my surprise when only  three responded, two of which sort of declined the award, for good reason.  You see they found it a lot of work to accept this acknowledgment, and let’s be honest, it is.  Without a doubt, it takes a lot of time to acknowledge them.  You say thank you, then write a post answering a series of questions about yourself and then you must link 10 new blogs onto your post.  And if you are like me with an iMac, for some reason you cannot just copy and paste other blogger’s URL.  So physically, I had to go to 10 different sites and write down 10 different site addresses and then type the links in.  By the time, I had completed the post it was almost two hours later.  Not that I am complaining, just that I am understanding.

    I will say that I was neither disappointed nor angry that no one really wanted to accept my acknowledgment of their blog.  Why should I be?  I mean who am I to you, and really do you care what I think of your blog?  Because I am just a person on the other side of the computer who is, in fact, in awe with the many fabulous people I have met thru blogging. In fact, I could be fairly crazy, so do you actually want an acknowledgment from a person who could or could not be posting this from some padded white cell?  Mwaaa haaa haaa!  

    In all seriousness, I suppose what I am really trying to say is that most likely when you started blogging, you were probably much like me, unaware of these blog awards and that wasn't your purpose for blogging, although a definite lovely perk. But, I completely understand the work and time involved. And mostly, I understand that everyone's life is hectic and stressful in one capacity or another and would like to post their thoughts and move on for the day.  You know blogging could be a full time job, if you let it be. 

    But after much consideration of the above, I found that I was in a serious dilemma, as I received four more blog awards.  One from the lovely Martha Ruth at A Real (Upstate) NY Housewife called Life is Good, and three more, the Stylish Blogger, Versatile Blogger and One Lovely blog from the fabulous girls over at Leggings are not Pants.  And you know, I was thrilled all over again by the thoughtfulness of these individuals.

    I wanted to post these lovely acknowledgments on my blog but I did not want to follow the instructions due to the very luke warm response I received from my previous post.  I suppose I am a little gun shy now.

    So after much consideration, and hopefully no insult to anyone, here is what I finally decided to do and I hope you will still love me after this:

    I have decided to accept these wonderful acknowledgments from these absolutely lovely blogger friends, because you took the time to think of me, to add me on your blog and to create a link to my site, for which I am forever grateful and I think you are amazingly wonderful.

    I will however not be passing it on due to the lack of response the last time around.  I want to be respectful of the ones who acknowledged me, and respectful of the ones who are not interested and I hope that everyone will be okay with this decision.

    I will also say that whether I have one follower or a thousand followers, I will always and I mean always be grateful to anyone who took the time to acknowledge my blog.  You are kind beyond words and you make my life better so Thank You.

    From my heart to yours.

    Until Next Time.
    Smooches Pooches

    Sunday, October 10, 2010


    Sometimes, it is important, for me, to stop and give thanks for those things that have affected my life in the past year.  Being that I am Canadian, this weekend is Thanksgiving and I thought it would be most appropriate to express my gratitude today:

    And I am incredibly thankful for the following:

    • That I do not have Lupus after all;
    • For all the wonderful amazing people who stuck thru with me during the 7 months of testing with their kind words, thoughtfulness and supportiveness;
    • My little pooch, who makes me smile every day of my life;
    • My mother who makes me giggle constantly and is by all accounts the very best of friends one girl could have;
    • My better half who holds my hand, strokes my hair and loves me for all my imperfection;
    • Having a good job in such a rough economy;
    • Bubble baths and good books;
    • Summer evenings of dancing under the stars with my Ipod blasted;
    • Long drives down winding roads;
    • The sounds and smells of the ocean;
    • Blue skies and lyrical little birds;
    • This amazing ever changing art canvass that we get to live on;
    • Life as I know it;
    • Love as I feel it; and
    • You!
    • Ah Yes, Most Definitely You....
    Thank you for being a part of my life!

    And a Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian Co-harts wherever you may reside!

    This weekend I am linking up to Seasonal Sundays and thank the The Tablescaper for hosting same.

    Until Next Time.
    Smooches Pooches

    Friday, October 8, 2010

    FREAKY FRIDAY: Things that go bump in the day?

    Did I ever mention that I work in a haunted building.  Yup, that's right. Haunted in all its spooky glory. Once a Church, the beautiful heritage building with gorgeous outside architecture that I reside in five days a week has been converted into two offices. The first floor is occupied by gynaecologists and pediatricians and the second floor is occupied by my Company.

    I am an outpost or a sub office to a larger Corporation, and approximately 4 out of 5 days a week, I wander the nine room office and long hallways by myself.

    With it's screaming 70's interior decor, it says anything but spooky until...............

    YOU ARE BY YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!

    That's right, several times a week, the doctors office closes early and I am locked within this spirit wandering vortex all by my lonesome! Perhaps the first thing that enters your mind is that my imagination is running wild with thoughts of being on my own.  But take into consideration that not only have I witnessed many mysterious things happening while the building is in full bloom operation, but the staff down in the doctors office has been exposed too many a ghostly incident themselves.

    Take yesterday for example *cue eery music*.  I had wandered into the office and flicked on all the lights and when I entered the photocopy room, I was smacked in the face with a chilling view.  A funny poster that has resided on the wall for ten years above the photocopier and being held by two thumb tacks in the upper corners, was waving in the wind.  Except, there was no wind. Literally for an hour, the bottom of the poster flew up and straight outwards where it held perfection position. When I walked over to it and pulled it down against the wall, the two corners were still coming up from the bottom with a force that felt like it was being pulled. There is no explanation as A) our central heating vents are up in the ceiling and air would be coming down at it as oppose to coming from the floor and pushing the poster up;  B) the heating system wasn't on in any event and C) there was no draft anywhere to be found.

    I like to say that this is the first time something strange has happened, but I would be lying.  Several years ago, I came into find a light bulb smashed on my seat.  Ironically, all six light bulbs were still in the track lighting above.  Hmmmmmm........

    Quite often I will hear children running up the stairwell with soft, strange, distant-like giggles and then my spring loaded door that requires some strength to open, will open on its own very very slowly, kind of like someone is peeking in. But low and behold no one is there, and then when I walk to the door, it shuts with full force like someone has used their entire body strength to push against the spring loaded mechanism.

    On the weekends, when everything is locked up tight, I will hear people running up and down the stairs numerous times and when I open the door quickly, surprise surprise there is no one there, no one in the foyer and the building is still locked up tight with no doctors working.

    Quite often I will hear my name said ever so softly, almost like it is being whispered behind the back of my head.  Many times I will be typing and the hair will stand up on my neck like someone is behind me.

    And I am not the only one affected by these events either.  Take the office manager working down below in the doctors office.  She comes in at 6:30 am every morning to work and what she hears is best described as a veritable buffet of bone chilling sounds.  She regularly has her hearing assaulted by noises  best described as sounds of people walking thru our office above her some two and half hours before I open the office doors. She can hear filing cabinets opening and closing and sometimes she will hear running down the hallways of my office with doors slamming.  I have to be honest, even with all that has happened to me over the years, I had somewhat questioned what she heard until two years ago.  The doctors office had been closed for two hours earlier and looking thru their glass doors you could see that their office was in complete blackness. I had locked up our office and alarmed the system, walked down the stairs to the foyer and was staring out the window waiting for my better half when, out of nowhere, and stunning me into complete silence, I heard *LARGE HEAVY FOOTSTEPS RUNNING* above me, followed by a *SLAM* of one of our filing cabinet shelfs, followed by another *SLAM* of one of our interior office doors, followed by *MORE RUNNING*.  Lordy, I still get chills even now when I think about it, and let's just say that I felt like Shaggy and Scooby Doo as I literally ran straight thru that locked front door to get outside and seek solace in the darkness and the rain!  You would have had to give me a whole box of Scooby Snacks before I re-entered the building that night!

    Believe it or not after about a year of my *ghost* playing hide and seek with papers on my desk and my utensils disappearing and reappearing at lunchtime, I decided to have a heart to heart with my mischievous unseen sidekick.  I told her, because somehow it just felt like a woman, that I knew she was there and I was sorry she was trapped and that I wasn't ignoring her but that I had to get my job done.  Ironically, the little talk helped and things quieted down until of course yesterday.

    I suppose in my heart, she just does these little things every once in awhile to remind me that she is still there, and while I no longer feel ill at ease, she still can make the hair stand up on my neck every now and then.

    Oh well, I kind of view it as a roller coaster ride.  Every once in a while, you need the crap scared out of you to make sure your heart is still beating. And yup, yesterday I can tell you my heart was beating hard!

    Until Next time my little goblins.
    Smooches Pooches!

    Tuesday, October 5, 2010


    Yup today was the day that I seriously considered shaving my head.  You know I often wonder how my hair would grow in if I did so.  Albeit, it would be devoid of all colour (as I don’t consider grey a colour when it comes to hair) and possibly none too attractive either. I must admit that as it stands today, shaving it seemed to be the appropriate action.  However, as I say this, and as you know, I have the head of all heads when it comes to size. And quite possibly, once that lily white pumpkin is exposed, birds would probably swoop at it in the attempt to use it as a run way, or worse yet, their own personal target for their little bowel excrements.  Yikes!

    Ah yes, the joys of cowlicks where your bangs should be has been an issue for me for many years.  But today, took the cake.  After what seemed like an eternity, approximately 30 minutes, of adding mousse, blow drying and straightening the crap out of just my bangs only, I walked not a mere 5 feet before those dang things started curling up again.  Of course, having my bag of arsenals, I pulled out my weapon of choice: my super duper, long lasting, crazy glue substance-like hairspray from hell.  Ah yes, I was going to schlack that puppy down, and by the time I was finished my assault upon my head, I was coughing up a lung, I had lost a few thousand brain cells, created a small hole in the ozone layer and invented my own personal fly catcher strip, formerly known as my bangs.

    As my day progressed, I started to feel the weight of my bangs upon my head causing this pressure and annoyance, so much so, I almost took the scissors and cut them right off then and there!  And then it dawned on me, in my quest to make my bangs submit to my will, the hairspray was so thick that I had unintentionally added five pounds to my bangs.  Good grief!!!!

    And as I went for a walk on my lunch hour, a great gust of wind swooped up my one clump of bangs and dropped it like a sack of potatoes on my chia pet of a head. *Wham* *Bam* I was almost knocked senseless from the weight of my own bangs!  Not too mention, that several teenage girls walked by and giggled followed by one of them mimicking my bangs by lifting her hand up and slapping her forehead.

    And then as I stood in my office kitchen with a potato peeler close to my bangs (because for some reason I could not locate my scissors), it became crystal clear. I have become one of those women *sigh*.  You know the ones I am talking about, caught in a hair era.  Ugghhh! Yes, when teenage girls walk past you giggling, it’s time for change.  And if I don’t move quick, well let’s just say that pretty soon I will be donning polyester pants and good “sensible” walking shoes.  Why even wait another 30 years, perhaps I should just cut it short, start perming it and colouring it blue now.  I see my future people and its not pretty.  It’s a short stubby blue haired woman wearing velour... Oh lord, just shoot me now!

    Until Next Time.
    Smooches Pooches