Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Slipping Away into the Winter's light...

I am tired.

And I have not been here for so long.

The sounds and the sights swirl around me, twisting, encompassing and embracing.

And I am tired.

I look over to the calendar and see that time has passed me by.  Where did it go?  Responsibilities are heavy, surgery on my mother, wedding preparations, work deadlines, the photography site and my old friend chronic pain has returned with a vengeance.

And I am tired.

I stand gazing out the window enjoying the winter scene as Father Frost has kissed the bare stricken branches and softly layered creamy ice over the glossy ponds where geese and swans once resided only a few short weeks ago.  Or was that a few months ago?  I can no longer recall.

And I am tired.

The church across from me sits idle with it's majestic cobalt blue doors silently waiting.  Tis a beautiful sight with it's snow frosted roof and it's empty pews beckoning for Christmas Eve when it will be full of life.

And I am tired.

I hear on the radio that hauntingly beautiful song for a winters night.  It makes me melancholy and I sigh and take a few moments of solace but then snap back to reality as work is frantically busy and I do not have the time to waste as everybody wants resolution to their matters now.

And I am tired.

Christmas is upon us and I had to do everything in October and November that one does in December for preparation of my mother's recent surgery and it is the last month of the season and I still have yet to recover from all the frenzy.

And I am tired.

I miss this place.  This place to write and read and connect with like minds.  I miss it so much, but I can scarcely breathe and am surviving on three hours sleep a night.

And I am tired.

I take a few moments to jot down my thoughts and watch thru my office window as daylight fades to a soft sweet hazy grey.  And in that brief moment, I close my eyes and dream while I quietly slip away into the winter's light hoping for just a few moments of respite.

But even at that, I am still unfortunately tired...


I miss you all.  I think of you often and I hope you and your family are well.  

I wish you a lovely and peaceful Christmas surrounded by those that fill your heart with joy.

Be safe.

Until Next Time.

Tracy

21 comments:

  1. If you could see me now I am applauding you....... One of the most poignant pieces I have read !
    Doug

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  2. Tracy, you need to take some time for yourself or I'm afraid you will get sick. Stress is a killer and we don't need you stressed with all that is going on with you. I hope you will be able to take some time off during the holidays to recharge your batteries. I do miss reading your funny posts about flatulence, Fred and the crazy things you put your better half through, so hurry up and come back, we all miss you :)

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  3. applauding too well saided my friend.... :)

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  4. Thank you doug and anonymous! and I know Alex, I am on stress overload at the moment, so are many people I am afraid... It sounds like i need another holiday! LOL!

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  5. First. Breathe.
    Second. Sleep. Sleep deeply. Dream softly. Relax.

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  6. You need a vacation, girl! I miss your posts, too.

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  7. Thanks Middle Child and Jday, will learn to breathe after xmas is over and my mom feels better :)

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  8. I find it interseting that all these things became injected into the schedule after you decided to get married. Seems like God is temering your steel for the journey... when it's done, everything will be much more solid. As for the three hours sleep, this might be a good time to get one of those little tape recorders. It's times like those I come up with my funniest stuff, but never remember it.

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  9. Lovely Tracy! Hope it soon gets easier as your mum improves. xx

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  10. Been thinking of you often and sending you all the positive energy and hugs I can.
    Things will ease I am sure as you mother recovers but try ti take time for yourself as well.
    You can't afford to get sick my dear friend.
    Wishing you the most wonderful christmas and looking forward to more adventures in the new year.
    Hugs and love xxxx

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  11. Hope you can catch a break and take some time to breathe! Sending happy thoughts your way :)

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  12. Oh Tracy that heavy fatigue of mind body and spirit can be like a huge wave that just keeps washing over you. Earlier in the year I was in this place, depression anxiety and yes just tired, I send you love and a gentle hug. Keep reaching out for support any way you can, even just a post to know we are here.
    Perhaps ask your Doc to check your iron levels and general health, I was severely anemic and didn't know until I started getting the heart palpitations.
    Love to your family this Christmas and always xxx

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  13. i would say something uplifting and mebbe a bit poetic to help your mood and your body, but i have nothing...

    i do know this,
    i was down
    and i posted
    and you commented, it gave my heavy heart a boost...

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  14. Tracy, my tired friend, may you be filled with joy and peace and love.

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  15. Thank you all for stopping by and gracing me with your very kind words and support, my blogger friends really rock! xoxo

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  16. I am also tired. But not too tired to stand up and applaud you for this one. Well done!

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  17. We miss you too! I hope you have some time for rest soon and that your pain goes away. I've enjoyed your photos.

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  18. I hope you are feeling a bit better. Much love.

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  19. Hi there, awesome site. I thought the topics you posted on were very interesting. I tried to add your RSS to my feed reader and it a few. take a look at it, hopefully I can add you and follow...


    Flatulence

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