Tuesday, April 3, 2012

This blockage of a different kind...

No, I am not talking about my bowels.

I am talking about my brain. Did you know that my love of writing started back when I was a child? Yup, I was the "interviewer" for my elementary school paper and pretty darn good I must say, and then I became a contributor to the local high school annuals. As a teenager, my love of writing formed into the shape of sugary love struck poetry. And by the time I became an adult, it was put on a shelf, forgotten and dusty, and patiently waiting for that moment I would rediscover my love affair with the written word.

I would spend the next two years, here, writing from two completely different and conflicting perspectives of my life. From Tracy, the raw, emotional person who struggled with daily limitations, to Tracy, the klutz who often scratched her head, and sometimes her butt, in an attempt to figure out why she attracted the craziest scenarios.

I have to admit, that while most seem to have loved my crazy spins on my daily life, I personally was much more enthralled with the exposed version of myself. That particular form of writing seemed to take no effort whatsoever. It just came from a place deep in my heart and the words would ultimately pour from my fingers onto the page, almost like a portal had opened up and brought the best that I could offer. Often, I would find myself wiped, tired, sometimes crying, almost always emotionally drained and proud of those rare moments. I have to tell you that this is hard for me to say as I often downplay my abilities.

Writing became my passion, and I finally felt that I had artistically found my voice, kind of a connection to a desire that was tired of being suppressed.

Lately tho, I am finding the well has dried up a tad. I neither feel raw, nor have I succumbed lately to any embarrassing moments in my life. Everything has been moving along somewhat smoothly. Almost blase unfortunately. And I hate to even use that word, in case the fates strike me down with a big old fall smack on my rather large head in the middle of an intersection. But the fact is, I have had a huge reduction in pain, due to my regimental eating and walking plan and I have been surrounded in nothing but mind numbing, hair pulling complacency that seems to have turned me into nothing short of a boring old woman, and you know, it's starting to scare the proverbial sh*t right out of me.

I am at a loss, literally.  I suppose I am finally suffering from writer's block. And I am not liking it.

I suppose that I am just going to have to be patient until I am once again inspired, but I think that in the meantime, perhaps I should start perusing the aisles of the local pharmacy. Maybe they have something there that not only cleans out bowels, but cleans out cobwebbed, infested brains, because I have to tell you, I am not enjoying this blockage of a different kind.

Until Next Time.



  1. I find that sometimes you can jump start the process by just "start typing." Some of the best stuff I've written I've had very little hand in. Let a story tell itself and see where it goes.

  2. Aww, I'm sorry! Honestly, it sounds a bit more like life block? I don't mean that in a mean way at all - maybe try to do something different and shake things up a bit somehow? Vacation or something? You can find blog fodder where you least expect it!

  3. I seem to be doing well with the A-Z prompts. But it is not for everyone, the issue I am having is that I find that I have this great idea and then can't work it into a post.

    So I keep "notes" in an unfinished draft, then go back to it a little at a time.

  4. Nothing wrong with a little "blase" from time to time. Just don't stay there! :)

  5. Someone once told me to "stand up and sit down real hard". Most times it doesn't really work, but, once in a great while, it does. Sorry to hear your well is having a dry spell. I'm quite sure something embarrassing will happen to you that you'll have to share with us. Happens to me all the time! lol

  6. I'm disappointed you aren't going to write about your bowels again, but I sympathize with what you're going through. Children are great to write about. If you don't have any try hanging around playgrounds. When the cops arrest you you'll really have something to write about.

  7. Well reading that you are feeling better since your regime makes me happy for you Tracy. I know how much you suffer, and I know how hard you've been trying to change your eating habits and exercise program. Sorry it's giving you such a block, but I think I would rather the block than the pain. Just saying.

  8. Oh and BTW, I do have a blockage in my bowels. Really shitty place to be in. Blah!!
    Damn double word verification blah!!!

  9. I could give you a few stories! lol......oh and by the way...thanks for your caring words....and I am not feeling better..but I must say I have to suck it up. i was due for a cold or the flu.....it has been 3 years since my last episode.

  10. Well, I am glad that you are feeling less pain, for one thing. As for writer's block, I find that in any kind of creative blockage it is useful to meditate or just sit back, not thinking of creating anything for a while and let nature take its course. Which, in essence, is another way of meditating in my opinion :)

  11. So relate to what you are saying here. Perhaps I'm too much of an idealist and yet, for me I would prefer not to write another word if they were to be devoid of any emotional connection. I have a bit of a mantra...Be true to yourself and the words will honour that. Perhaps the dam is just about to burst? Best wishes.

  12. It happens to the best of us. No worries, dear, it will come back to you. :) Take some time and we'll be here when you get back.

  13. How wonderful that your pain is reducing and that you are out of harms way! Maybe a new writer will emerge, commenting as a new Tracy, not average at all but rather on her way to even MORE wonderful and exciting adventures which were once impossible due to pain and limitations...I think you are on the verge of writing more and this time, there will be no boundaries on the subject...heck...this is going to be exciting!

  14. Step back from the drug isle! Unless you want to read the lists of ingredients and reactions to the drugs. (That could make for some interesting writing topics!)
    You've been through a lot of changes lately and maybe your writing brain needs to catch up a bit. Give yourself a break!
    Later gater.

  15. I wrote a blog post once about the amazing miracle of having an ordinary day. I had so many days that were full of challenges. I think you must, too. I remember longing for days that were not remarkable or memorable. When life settled down and I started experiencing them, they were just as wonderful as I imagined!

    We all have our cycles. Enjoy this fallow period. I suspect it won't be long before something catches your attention and it will be off to the races again!

  16. Goddamn blockages! They always come when you least expect them. Don't worry...Just enjoy the time with your camera instead, and the words will come flooding out to match the beauty in your photographs! :)


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