I am humming to myself that song, you know the one, "where have all the flowers gone, long time passing, where have all the flowers gone, long time ago". I cannot even guarantee those are the right words, and am bit too lazy to google it, and then too boot, I am substituting the word "flowers" with the word "bloggers".
I am starting to notice an uneasy trend here in blogland, that being one by one, the original bloggers that I followed are slowly and surely dropping off the face of blogosphere. And, I often wonder if I am not too far behind.
It was funny because just as I was contemplating if my time was up here as well, I read a comment from Chris at Tilting at Windmills. He wrote on Bouncin Barb's blog as she bid her final adieu, the following words verbatim: "A lot of people blog to releave life stress- and when the stress eases, it's a time taker they no longer need. Go forth, enjoy life."
I stared at his words for such a long time as they resonated deeply within me.
I had started my blog, as you well know, because I was in an unhappy place in my life and I was deep into soul searching, grasping at loose ends and trying with all my heart to find joy. I was lost and needed a place to let my words flow. Spilling them out into the blogosphere was so much more rewarding then spilling tears constantly down my already soggy and mascara-smudged face.
I garnered a lot from blogging, new friends, new opinions, some ego stroking, confidence building, gratitude, enjoyment and mostly relief. Blogging had always been a special place where I really felt comfortable in bearing my soul with no worries of repercussions and no judgments tossed. As a blogger, I had lost all sense of decorum and had absolutely no problem whatsoever sharing with the world my life of flatulence, wedgie wars, saggy boobs, hair growth and dimply asses. By the way, nothing seems to have changed in those areas of my life!
But as time went on and my happiness started to soar and I felt myself hit my stride, I started to wander away from here more and more. And then when I would come back, I felt that myself and my blog were fast becoming archaic. Simply said, I think my writing was at its most prolific when I was in my greatest amount of pain.
My joy is now into creating things, like the following photo of mine, wherein I superimposed two of my pictures together to create the following:
Now it would seem, that I have been left with a bit of a conundrum. In pain, I enjoy my writing, and in happiness, I enjoy my photography.
So where does that leave my blog and I?
Well I am not ready to throw in the proverbial towel so to speak, but I am ready to start a new chapter in my writing. One that is more uplifting, less heavy with a heaping side of carefree...
So I am, in a sense, saying goodbye to the old Average Girl and the old look of the blog. She's been there and done her time and now needs to be retired. Because, in all honesty, this Average Girl has long since changed. She no longer needs to be up at the top of the page dressed in hot pink looking a bit bored and uninterested. She doesn't need her blog to be doused in heavy colours of oppressing fuschia and black.
She feels light and happy and wishes to reflect that in all aspects of her life, including this blog page. What does that mean for my writing? Well, I have no idea. I suppose it will be an adventure to see what spills out of a less pain filled Average Girl. In fact, it may mean more happy writing, and even perhaps a tad to sappy at times. One thing for sure is that this Average Girl is feeling downright joyful. One could even say, that his Average Girl is, for lack of a better phrase, fresh as a daisy (hence the new look!)
Until Next Time.