Tuesday, December 7, 2010

LESS THAN PERFECT!

I am crabby.

There I said it.  Everyone is driving me nuts today.  I am speaking thru gritted teeth and I seriously feel like knocking someone between the ears.  My face is so pinched and tight, I think I have developed a new wrinkle.  I am doing that pursing of the lips thing and grinding my teeth together.  Oh good grief, I see glimpses of my cantankerous grandma in me, and if I could smack my gums together, we would be twins!

No I am not pms-ing or menopausing!  I am crank-a-fying.  What is crank-a-fying you ask?  Well its when I have had enough of everything. An accumulation of things that I have held in until *POOF*, I explode! Happens several times a year to me. I am pretty good about always being very nice to everyone, but every once in awhile I hit the concrete wall *SMACK, BANG, SPLAT* head first.  I shake myself out and I become Super Angry Chick! Today, I want to beat my boss over the head with a file, I want to hang my clients out of the windows by their ankles, I want to grab the lips of anyone with a sweet loving smile on their face and yank their bottoms lips down to their toe tips and then up the backside of them till I yank it right over their big bloody block head!

I spent the morning visualizing shoving coffee grinds up the old man’s nose that works with me and shoving sugar cubes down his underwear.

I can’t even go on facebook today because if I read one more lovely sugar coated status line, I will not be able to be held responsible for my actions.

Ah yes I see all your faces now.  You thought I was this sweet thing didn’t you!  Yah, you are not alone, that is what my better half thought too!  Man was he surprised the first time I became Super Angry Chick!  You would think after 7.5 years he would learn to walk away, but nope, he thinks if he kisses me and hugs me things will get better.  I do my usual which is to grab hold and twist whatever is in my eye view, which in his case is his nipples.  Poor Bugger. Those purple nurples must kill!

Lucky for me and everyone around me this is much like a 24 hour flu bug.  Tomorrow, I will be me again, right after I gobble a pound of chocolate, eaten a jar of pickles, ran out and screamed at the neighbourhood children, beaten my pillow into submission and ran naked down the street while men in little white coats try to hunt me down.

What can I say, I am so not perfect!

Until Next Time.
I think!!!

23 comments:

  1. bahahahahahahahahahahahahahha!! I'm almost afraid of leaving a comment. Be sure NOT to read my post until the fever passes. I would hate to think what you might do to me. LOL. But RAGE ON WOMAN! Sometimes it's all you really need to set the world right again.

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  2. I have those times, too. I've told Bud I can take a lot, and for a long time, and then one day I just can't take it anymore and I blow a gasket. So beware. Ms. Caboo can be pissy, too!

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  3. I'm almost scared to comment. I have to write a paper that has no bearing on my future in anyway except graduation and am pretty pissed about it. I'll hit a pillow for the both of us.

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  4. This may not be the place for it, but do you wanna' hear a joke?

    What is the difference between a hooker, a mistress, and a wife?
    After sex, a hooker says "I hope you got your money's worth",a mistress says "I hope it was as good for you as it was for me", and a wife says "Beige honey, we should definitely paint the ceiling beige".

    I'm going to assume that's the way it is in marriage.

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  5. LOL! George. That's awesome! Tracy will laugh about it tomorrow. I'm sure of it.

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  6. Love the joke above. But I'm not making any comments other than that....living in fear of having my head knocked off!

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  7. Thanks for the joke George and the beating of the pillow Paul... As for you Miss Rita, you are way too sweet, so run girl run! As far away as you can from me! ha ha ha ha!

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  8. What? I can't hear you. I'm already across the border. HAHAHAHAH!

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  9. You better stay their woman!!!! LOL

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  10. ha, ha...that is great.
    Everyone needs to do a little crankifying.
    does the body good.

    we know you'll be back to your sugar coated, chocolate sprinkled self
    once you've kicked enough dogs and cats.

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  11. hi...uh...i...uh...am new here. i....uh....don't want to make you any more crabby.

    can i just say, before i scamper away that you cracked me up and i had one of those days yesterday, so today, it's your turn and revel to the fullest in your crankiness, i say!=)

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  12. Nothing more satifying than seeing 3 males duck and run when this lady gets her dose of crankies on. Usually the "good cop" parent, when mum loses the plot, they know there is trouble.

    Oh, isnt it a little cold where you are to run naked down the street? You might freeze your bits off.

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  13. My my my my..... you are the funniest girl! Go thump something hard!

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  14. Crank-a-fying? Isn't that how everybody feels every other day (specially around this time of year)? Oh no wait, that's just me. Don't worry Tracy, the night will take away all your crabbiness and replace it with sugar and spice and everything nice.....Though you did give me an idea with the coffee grounds....

    I guess even Canadians get pissed once or twice a year.

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  15. Booo! Dislike! lol -That's all I'm saying for fear of backlash! :) -Better day tomorrow!

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  16. Crank-A-fying....LOL....must be this town....yesterday I was such an angry chick that I made Satan look like Tinkerbell. Let's hit some pillows together!!
    Better days will come :)

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  17. I love it when I am in that mode and my husband goes "meow" at me. Then I can really @@#%#%#^#(^$#)*!$&!(&@!($*#)%*@^&(*)

    Sometimes it's good to let it out. If for nothing else but to teach your male children about women.

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  18. crankifying is normal during this time of year. I hope you can dream of lavender fields tomorrow rather than shoving coffee grounds (what a mental picture HA!)

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  19. Crank it out girlfriend, crank it out, I'm feeling a little cranky too right now.
    xoxo

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  20. crank it up... roarrrrr

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  21. I have those days all the time.
    If I don't watch it I will turn into my mother.

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  22. You are so adorably funny, even when cranky. Do you get that often? It's meant as a compliment, but when a man starts giggling or looks amused when I'm legitimately cranky, it annoys the holy heck out of me.

    We all have those days...I tend to warn people in advance of my crankiness, to which they usually laugh. Grr.

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  23. U should keep a Kill-O-Meter by your side :)

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