Wednesday, February 16, 2011


Do you know why you started blogging?  Did you have a pivotal moment? I did. Back in March last year, I discovered this blog created by this wonderful person named Jain.  Her blog was beautiful.  In fact, I would go so far as to say “breathless”.  It was mostly just photos and tablescapes outside, but honestly her blog should have become a book. I loved her blog so much, that I would look at it several times a day. Some days, I almost felt like I was stalking her, I wasn’t of course, it’s just that her photographs were so charming and calming, and quite frankly, portrayed a life that I wanted to lead.  Based on her, I had hoped to create my own little piece of beauty in the blogging world.  I think I have failed for the most part.  I was so haphazard with the content, I went from goofy, to inspiring, to photographs, to goofy, to discussing intimate parts of my pain, to goofy and to finally wanting to help all bloggers achieve more followers.  My blog constantly changed in appearance and I was never satisfied because I just had not chosen a direction.  Together, my blog and I have become a little lost lately.  It’s okay tho, because everything is a learning process for me and I have never been a girl with a proper plan.

So you are probably wondering why I am babbling on about this, well this new challenge in our lives with my sister-in-law’s health has made me take an abrupt step back and look at what is important to me, as sometimes my priorities become a tad askewed.

I really love my sis n law, she is wonderful and it pains me to think of her life being in such a precarious position.

She is doing significantly better, surprising since her organ is so damaged.  She is so scared and we are scared for her.  By the way, I really appreciated every single kind comment from you, including CWMartin for putting a prayer on his blog.  Thank you.

The only way I know how to help my sis in law is to stand beside her  instead of stand behind her which means that I am going to change my life as she changes her.  She has to be in optimum health if they go ahead with a transplant, so I am going to do it with her so she is not alone.  In fact, I started on Monday with my cleanse and let me tell you something, I lost 6 pounds of crap in two days.  I didn’t realize I was so full of crap, okay I did know I was full of crap (unfortunately, in more ways than one).

Although I have always known this about myself, I am not sure you do, but if you haven't figured it out yet, I am an all or nothing type of girl who has never been able to strike a balance.  I give my all to something until it absolutely exhausts and drains me and then I walk away from it. However, I am hoping to change that personality flaw.

Which brings me to blogging, I have to say that I put this crazy undo amount of pressure on myself to constantly blog 4 or more times a week.  Crazy huh?  Scared that you might leave me if I didn’t.  I felt this need to assist everyone in finding new followers, which was really exhausting me.  And worried that if I didn’t help you, that again you'd leave me.  I don’t even know why I worry about such trivial things except that perhaps I am a far too sensitive for my own good, am a people pleaser and suffer a terrible personality trait when it comes to dealing with rejection.  Yes I know, who cares if people come or go off the blog, apparently I do, because I constantly get my knickers in knott over it. On top of that I follow like 150 plus blogs and I was killing myself to get to each blog to read their updates and leave comments, not too mention the fact that in my real life, I work full time, write a column for a newspaper, suffer from chronic pain and share my life with my better half and a sweet but demanding pooch. These past five days made me realize that you would all go on if I didn’t read you daily and you probably care less if I comment or not and I had to wonder why I was putting this inordinate amount of pressure on me.

So this is what it has come down to, it's time for a change for me.
I am not going to blog a zillion times a week and I hoping that you will happily kick my ass if I start to do it again because I have realized that there are just so many hours in the day, and if you let it, blogging can sneak up on you and take over your life.

I am going to set some ground rules for myself on my blog and get back to basics  with it and what I am about and what it is I want to write at that moment. You are either going to like or not, and I have no control over that and that's okay.

I am going to get back to basics in my life with just simple pleasures, like less tv and computer, more reading and walking and smelling the roses.

And I am going to focus on mine and my sis in law’s health.

In other words I am going to live up to to my words earlier this year of going from average to memorable.

But mostly, I am just going to find Tracy. She is actually pretty awesome when she isn't in a tizzy and being all obsessive compulsive. 

Until Next Time.


  1. Tracy, this was just what I needed to read today. I am glad that you are going to concentrate more on you! Like I have said, when you write I will read...but it doesn't have to be every day. I am stickin' around!
    PS Keeping my fingers crossed for your SIL!

  2. Good for YOU! blogging is fun and it's a fun way to met people, but when it takes over it's not fun anymore.
    Kudos to you, for all you are doing!

  3. I'm glad to hear your SIL is doing much better. Just recently, my Grandfather was in the hospital for reasons I don't really want to mention, partly for their personal nature, but I know how it feels to have a loved one in a difficult position. Chin up! It's always darkest before the dawn.

  4. Good for you! I can see where this whole blogging thing can become a snowball. Take care of yourself and your family. The rest will follow.

  5. While I love getting comments from you and reading your blogs, you need to take care of you. That is what is important. Your followers will follow you to the ends of the earth! We will see you when we see you! :o)

  6. Whether you post every day, or once every few weeks, I still love to read them. Take care of yourself! Smelling roses and reading sounds like a grand plan to me. I hope you find the Tracy you want to be. FYI, the Tracy I know is pretty awesome already.

  7. Good for you. You do what you have to do make you (and your family) happy and healthy. That is all that matters.

  8. I've enjoyed seeing your blog develop and change - I don't think you have 'failed for the most part' your blog reflects you, your life, your ups and downs - that's what makes it real and authentic - that's why you have 330 followers ! But you're right, it can take over your life, and there aren't enough hours in the day. I started my blog in order to kick start my hobby (art), but soon realised how easy it would be to spend all my time reading other peoples blogs and not doing any art! Don't worry, everyone will understand, and keep on following. Glad to hear that your SIL is feeling better - best wishes to you both

  9. Thank you for the kind comments and I am very very sorry to hear about your grandfather LS! xxoo

  10. I wish you were MY sister in law! I would want you beside me in a pinch, that's for sure. This blogging stuff can get addictive. I have had to cut back myself. Like you, I was trying to read and comment on so many blogs (because I like to offer encouragement and yes because I like people to read and comment on mine!), I didn't have time for real life. I've tried to keep up with my posting, but I have cut back on my reading and commenting.

    Good luck to you and your sister in law. I'm not going anywhere, and I suspect your other loyal readers aren't either. I will be delighted when you post, and I will be delighted when you don't because I know you are taking care of yourself and your family. What a great model for all of us!

  11. in through the nose, out through the mouth. breathing deeply & focusing on stuff that actually matters. that's where you'll find yourself feeling successful in your life. and if blogging fits, cool. if it doesn't, it's all good.

  12. Hey! I think I learnt that technique in Yoga... :)

  13. I love what you write and as long as you do, I will read it :) Nice to hear you sis in law is feeling even just a tiny bit better (((hugs)))

  14. I'm so happy to hear that your SIL is doing better, AG. While I always enjoy your entries and haven missed them during your absence, I admire you for how much you have your priorities in order. You're a brilliant chickie, AG, and we're not goin' anywhere so don't worry about blogging. ;-) You just take care of you, darlin'.~


  15. Sounds like you've had a very important revelation. Cheers!

  16. You need to know that I read the blogs I follow whether they post once per month or daily. So I will still be reading whenever you post...I'm not going anywhere. I may not always comment, but I always read!

  17. Love ya no matter what path you take - and you have a very fortunate sister-in-law who can rely on you to help her on her road to recovery. I will continue to read your blog when you have the time to blog...take care!

  18. Yay- this is the most positive thing I have read today. Take a big breath, blog when you need to. It is all about enjoying what you do anyway (blogging)
    Dont feel complelled to comment on everything you read. Dont feel compelled to read everything.
    I was getting myself into a knot trying to keep up.
    Now if I miss stuff it is because I was busy in other ways and I can always hunt back if I really need to catch up.
    Love your writing no matter how often because you write from the heart. I will be here when you pop back in again.
    Big hugs to you and yours

  19. Tracy, you are a beautiful woman. I'm just sorry it took so long for me to discover your blog. Go take care of yourself, your sister-in-law and family. Life will go on, so long as you check in every now and again to let us know you're okay.

  20. Your blog is awesome BECAUSE of the different styles, because change and variety is cool and interesting! If you're happier and busy doing stuff out in the real world, it'll only make your posts better, because you'll have so much more to write about!

  21. So glad to hear your sis-in-law is doing better :-)
    I have no objections to taking time to stop and smell the roses - or lilacs - or daisies - or whatever! Take care of you and yours, we'll be here for you :-)

  22. I think most of the people who follow your blog, and have been following it for a while, would read it whether you wrote once a day or once a month. I know I would, because I like what you have to say, and I like your style of writing. So, I'm happy you will still be writing, but heck yes, step back from it, it can be addictive and take up a lot of your time.

    Btw, the healthy lifestyle change is a great idea, even if it happened because of not so great circumstances. I hope your SIL will get her transplant asap. Go smell some roses, we'll be here when you get back :)

  23. This was a great post! Very positive and very "to the point" Tracy, you do what you have to do, for you. -Keeping your SIL in prayer, for a full recovery. Keep your chin up hon!

  24. Tracy, you are a rockstar!!! Being there for your SIL is awesome! Whenever you post, I'll be here no matter how long it is between posts. :)

  25. You really are a wonderful group of people. Thank you for being so kind!

  26. AG, my liege. Once a follower, always a follower. You have my bow. (Legolas Style) Be well. I pray that this is the beginning of good health for you and your sister in law.

  27. This is without a doubt the most powerful post I have read as of late.

    Power to you – and you know, you won’t regret a thing.
    Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in keeping everyone around us happy and forgetting that we count too.
    Sometimes it takes something this big (your SIL’s health) to make you appreciate the little things. (like your own health and family)

    I will always check in on your site, whether you post once a week or once a month.
    Do the blogging so it enhances you life, not so it drags you down.

    When I first started blogging I was lucky enough to read a post by “Rabbit” about how worrying about followers was a waste of time. They will either follow you or they won’t no biggie – just post and be happy!
    Your health depends on it!

    Blog Hugs coming at you,

  28. I'm glad you're finding yourself in the real world, as well as in the blog-world. I am happy to follow, I like your design and I like the way your write. I like your log for what it is and what you will make it to be :) You probably got a little carried away with trying to please everyone! This blog is about you, and I'm happy to stick with you all the way! Wish you all the best on your new path!! Memorable, hm, your already are to me! Good Luck with your sister-in-law, may all your family-health issues be just a distant memory! All is GOOD NOW!! remember that!

  29. There's nothing worse than turning a hobby into a chore. Take the time you need to be with your family.

    Keep the faith!

  30. Tracy you are pretty awesome and I love that you are going to take time to take care of yourself first and the ones you love, blogging should be fun and it can get overwhelming and crazy. So good for you. Just take your time and be well. Love to you!! xoxo

  31. first, thank you for stalking me :)

    second... and i have scolded you before on this, blogging is for you... no one else. people like you becasue what you share, when you share. period... well ok 3 of them... if you come back every 2 hours a day, or every 6 months, it should be becasue you want to express yourself, not out of warped need to please. please yourself first, share what, when and why to make your soul happy. sometimes its nice to share whats on your mind, in your heart, or on your camera. find your balance, you will see everyone will still be here~

    i wish the best for you and your sil~

  32. Comments are nice and it's lovely when you write them. The thing is- we all have lives and there is just too much to get everything in.
    I never get all done that I want to do in a day and I don't have as much on my plate as you do.
    I am just very glad to hear that your sis in law is doing better.
    Take care of you.

  33. Thank you again for all the lovely and insightful comments. I really appreciate all of them.

    PS Can't help but stalk your blogs Jain, you make them so darn beautiful!

  34. Your words really resonated. No one will leave you, and if they do, then maybe they weren't true blogging friends to begin with. I think what you are doing is downright incredible, and I just want to give you a big hug. ***HUG*** We care about you, Tracy--please know that. Whatever you choose, your blogging buddies will stand beside you, always. Much love and prayers to you all.

  35. Prayers and best wishes for your sister in law and her support team. Thanks for the great post!
    'hugs from afar'

  36. I HAVE missed a lot! Of course everyone will still read you! Good luck with your mission.

  37. Good for you! Sounds very positive. And I will keep following you no matter what. I actually think the ideal blogger blogs 2 - 3 times per week. That makes it easy for me to keep up with them! (I know - totally selfish reasons). I'm glad your SIL is doing better.


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