I live with a man who during the daylight hours I adore completely, but during the night hours, it takes all my control not to throttle him senseless with the pillow he rests his rather large head upon.
I am sleep deprived you see.
My mild manner better half is driving me to the brink of exhaustion!
To wit: the other night, I had curled deep within the warmth of my duvet and fell off into a lovely, dreamless slumber when I was ghastly awaken by the following:
"GET UP GET UP, YOU ARE GOING TO BE LATE FOR WORK!!!!!"
With my heart beating fast and sleepy-filled eyes, it goes without saying that I hopped out of my warm and comforting bed and moved my decrepit body as fast as I could over to the loo where I dropped my pj's and scrambled into the shower to clean the old body in the most expedient way I possibly could!
Still feeling slightly tired, I came out of the bathroom to find my lovely better half deep alseep and snoring peaceful under a mound of duvets. What was more curious was that it was still dark out. Usually by this time, there is a thin stream of daylight coming in from yonder window. However, the only thing that I could see was the glow behind my curtain of the mandatory street lights.
I stood there and scratched me head and proceeded to hobble over where the alarm clock was sitting and took it over to the window to get some light to read it. I stood and stared at perplexed, shook it a few times and wondered if perhaps the batteries in the back had finally died, as this time couldn't be right! On closer inspection, I could see the second hand moving without hesitation. In shock, I stood and watched that bloody second hand moving in perfect sync and felt a mad rush of warmth gather over my face. With a turn of my heel, followed by a thunderous over-exaggerated walk, I stomped my way over to my side of my bed, grabbed my pillow and unceremoniously hit my better half in the head with the following screaming words:
"IT'S ONLY MIDNIGHT YOU BLOODY FOOL....AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Stunned by the onslaught of my pillow, sleeping beauty looked at me with confusion, and then it dawned on me that the freaking stinker was talking in his sleep again!
The rest of my evening went something like this:
- 1:00 a.m. finding said better half sitting on the side of the bed, asking him what he was doing, his answer "nuttin" and then him falling back on his pillow and snoring.
- 2:30 a.m. finding said better half sitting on the side of bed, asking him what he was doing, his answer "nobody's business" and then him falling back on his pillow and snoring.
- 3:45 a.m. finding said better half standing at one of our bedroom windows peeking out thru the slit of the blinds and saying "did you hear that, did you hear that?" and then him walking back to his side of his bed, climbing in and not missing a beat to his snoring.
- 4:30 a.m. finding said better half standing over our dog's crate and saying the street light is keeping Fred awake and then him climbing back into bed and snoring once again; and finally
- 6:30 a.m. the alarm going off and better half waking up with a stretch whilst Tracy drags her sorry ass out of bed.
I don't care what they say, I am going to do my best to bring separate bedrooms back into fashion!
Good lord, someone help me now!
Until Next Time!