Wednesday, October 12, 2011 the midnight hour

I live with a man who during the daylight hours I adore completely, but during the night hours, it takes all my control not to throttle him senseless with the pillow he rests his rather large head upon.

I am sleep deprived you see.  

My mild manner better half is driving me to the brink of exhaustion!

To wit:  the other night, I had curled deep within the warmth of my duvet and fell off into a lovely, dreamless slumber when I was ghastly awaken by the following:


With my heart beating fast and sleepy-filled eyes, it goes without saying that I hopped out of my warm and comforting bed and moved my decrepit body as fast as I could over to the loo where I dropped my pj's and scrambled into the shower to clean the old body in the most expedient way I possibly could!

Still feeling slightly tired, I came out of the bathroom to find my lovely better half deep alseep and snoring peaceful under a mound of duvets.  What was more curious was that it was still dark out. Usually by this time, there is a thin stream of daylight coming in from yonder window. However, the only thing that I could see was the glow behind my curtain of the mandatory street lights.

I stood there and scratched me head and proceeded to hobble over where the alarm clock was sitting and took it over to the window to get some light to read it. I stood and stared at perplexed, shook it a few times and wondered if perhaps the batteries in the back had finally died, as this time couldn't be right! On closer inspection, I could see the second hand moving without hesitation. In shock, I stood and watched that bloody second hand moving in perfect sync and felt a mad rush of warmth gather over my face. With a turn of my heel, followed by a thunderous over-exaggerated walk,  I stomped my way over to my side of my bed, grabbed my pillow and unceremoniously hit my better half in the head with the following screaming words:  


Stunned by the onslaught of my pillow, sleeping beauty looked at me with confusion, and then it dawned on me that the freaking stinker was talking in his sleep again!

The rest of my evening went something like this:
  • 1:00 a.m. finding said better half sitting on the side of the bed, asking him what he was doing, his answer "nuttin" and then him falling back on his pillow and snoring.
  • 2:30 a.m. finding said better half sitting on the side of bed, asking him what he was doing, his answer "nobody's business" and then him falling back on his pillow and snoring.
  • 3:45 a.m. finding said better half standing at one of our bedroom windows peeking out thru the slit of the blinds and saying "did you hear that, did you hear that?" and then him walking back to his side of his bed, climbing in and not missing a beat to his snoring.
  • 4:30 a.m. finding said better half standing over our dog's crate and saying the street light is keeping Fred awake and then him climbing back into bed and snoring once again; and finally
  • 6:30 a.m. the alarm going off and better half waking up with a stretch whilst Tracy drags her sorry ass out of bed.
I don't care what they say, I am going to do my best to bring separate bedrooms back into fashion!

Good lord, someone help me now!

Until Next Time!



  1. I admit that sometimes I snore; my wife will not! Our thirty-one year old son, who a year ago moved into our spare bedroom, says he can sometimes hear her through our closed door, but she doesn't believe him. Somewhere in the garage is an old tape recorder so I might try and catch what sounds like her sawing wood. I might not make it to my next anniversary.

  2. And I thought I had it bad sleeping in between my snoring husband and my snoring dog.

  3. Next time, just beat his face sensless with a pillow every time he wakes you up. If you must be sleep deprived, so must he!! lol

  4. I dated someone who'd sit on the side of the bed and talk in his sleep...but it was very infrequent.
    Hope you can get some rest tonight, Sweetie!!!

  5. wow, that's really dang annoying! no wonder you're exhausted! now move your butt (or better yet, his) into the spare room so you can get some freakin sleep!

  6. Ya know, you could always bind and gag him in his sleep, and tell him he sleep-did it in the morning. Just a thought...

    Or a taser. Avoidance therapy, you understand...

  7. not only sounds like he talks in his sleep....he also walks in his sleep. In all probably should try to get him to see his doc...there is most likely something that can be done for this.


  8. I've got a remedy for you. Elavil. You won't know if the world ends! I feel for you. My hubby was a horrific snorer and also talked vividly in his sleep. I'd tell him the next day what he said and he would look at me and say "how the hell did you know that"? It was interesting to say the least!! You poor thing! Or give him the Elavil!! There ya go....hehe

  9. LOL... thanks for all the advice and I am thinking that Stephen might not make it to his first anniversary and if I tied him up Chris, he would probably like that too much, Barb that Elavil sounds like a plan, and Jo, I think I need to see a doctor for therapy! and Thanks Kathy, JDay, Steph and Sherilin, sympathy is always welcomed here!

  10. I too sleep between snoring dog and husband - it's my own personal nightly stereo. My hubby also talks in his sleep - that doesn't bother me nearly as much as when he fights somebody in his sleep! That gets downright dangerous! If I get too sleep deprived I take a xanax...the earplugs my daughter gave me just don't cut it! Good luck!

  11. I am so feeling your pain.

    I've been sleep deprived since 1999.

    Up to four boys.... loud snoring and, um, er... odors, make it nearly impossible to sleep.

  12. My guy talks in his sleep as well. What's super frustrating is that he doesn't remember anything, so when I wake him up to tell him to shut it, he gets mad at me for waking HIM up. He's better than my old boyfriend though, he used to get up and pee in the laundry hamper (which wasn't even located in the bathroom) in his sleep. At least if I have to be sleep deprived, I don't have to clean piss drenched clothes anymore. Hope you get some rest!

  13. I could have written this post myself, my hubby does this exact same thing, down to looking out the window and sayin 'did you hear that?' I've learned to sleep through it most of the time, but the chis have not, so they wake me up now.... I say give him the xanax so you're not groggy in the morning, or have him change places with Fred...:)

  14. I know this, sadly only too well. Hubby does all sorts of bizarre things during the course of the night.
    We can have a whole conversation and he not remember it in the morning.
    What I really hate is when he jumps out of bed all of a sudden, seeing imaginary bugs or spiders, or something.. meanwhile I am scraping myself off the ceiling.

  15. I honestly think that separate rooms would be the secret to a long and happy marriage, if only I could convince my other half. When he's away on business I sleep like the dead - it's bliss!

  16. Is this a form of sleep walking? I had a navy buddy booted from the military for doing that type of thing. Good luck with the better half.

  17. OMG, you poor thing! He needs to get to a sleep disorder doctor stat!

  18. Only when they sleep can men multi task - that is they can fart and snore at the same time! Yours is obviously very talented in that he can talk as well!!! xxx

  19. I guess he is lucky...that you love him...and didn't SMOOTHER him with that pillow.
    I hate it when my sleep keeps getting interrupted. I have enough somnia as it is (that whole menopausal thing)

    Nothing wrong with seperate bedrooms...I guess.
    You can invite him in when you need to "wink"*

  20. My sisters other half talks in his sleep too. In his dreams he's always terrified of spiders. My poor sister has been woken up lots of times with him screaming "The spiders are all over you!" and him slapping her all over her head to get rid of the imaginary spiders LOL!!My poor sister always wakes up dazed and confused!.........

    Lol at Fran and men "multitasking" at night haha!!

  21. Hiya,

    I mentioned this post over at my place.

  22. hahahahaha!!!! I think I just now realized why I'm single. (I'm a sleepwalker, talker, drinker, cooker, when I'm not having insomnia...)

  23. Holy hole in a morning coffee came spurting out of my nose reading this...umm...err...i dunno if i was meant to be laffing but by golly, boy howdy and dag nab it i did...
    i USED to have a gf who would get up to similar turn all the lights in the house on and open up the curtains at 3 am walking round in her birthday suit yelling at me to hurry up... she also king-hit me a few times as well..
    i discovered after i accidently drugged her that it stopped...but that is another story


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