Wednesday, March 7, 2012

In a furious fit......

I am always appalled when I watch these *ahem* reality shows and I see adults throw hissy fits when they are not getting their own way.  

Let me pause here, because the first thing that saddens me in the above phrase is the fact that I watch garbage like that, and secondly, I *ummm stutter* may have fallen into that hissy fittin' group.

It all started yesterday.... *cue memory inducing music*

I had been on day sixteen of what would become 17 long days of another one of my cleanses. Desperate to feel better and more desperate to loose a dress size or two before heading off to Italy, I had yet again radically changed my eating plan.

Salads, salads and more salads, followed by apples apples and more apples and I had dropped a miraculous 9 pounds in 12 days.  Still eating healthily and definitely no sign of deprivation, I was on a mission (and still am) to see some results, but as I hit lucky day number 16, I woke up craving the inevitable.  Oh gosh, there it was, in my face, huge, dark and sweet, oh yes Chocolate was calling my name.  And it was saying "come on stumpy girl, what's another cellulite dimple on yer big ole ass, come on eat me!  You know you wanna!!!"  Yes, my chocolate craving was a bit of a hillbilly.

Earlier in the week, my better half was rushed in for some dental surgery which left him with a mouth full of stitches and a prescribed penchance for soft foods, consisting of ice cream, puddings, more ice cream and more damn puddings!  

For the first few days, his eating of refined sugary and fat inducing sweets, did not, let me repeat, did not in the slightest bother me, until the sixteenth almost fatal day of my cleanse.

I had done my usual routine which is to weigh myself in the evening before I went to bed (yes I weigh myself then) only to see that I had not moved one ounce, not one bloody ounce in 4 long days.  Frustrated and exasperated at the scale, my better half snuck around me and placed his long lanky frame up on the evil device to reveal that during his sugar frenzie he had lost two pounds!  Two pounds??!!!???  TWO FREAKING POUNDS whilst I remained stagnant in my belly and ass poundage!

While that boy walked around consuming a tub of lard, I had been sprouting lettuce for hair, carrots for teeth and cauliflower for ears and still had not moved one single line on that damn scale.

In what could be described as one of the worst hissy fits of my life (although I think my family would beg to differ), I literally ran down the stairs screaming at the top of my lungs "THAT'S NOT FAIR, THAT'S NOT FAIR... YOU SUCK YOU SUCK YOU SUCK!!" And then I frantically opened each of my cupboards until I found the glorious one foot long chocolate bar I had received as a gift from my friend in Sweden.  And there it sat in my hands, beckoning me, calling me, lord it was screaming at me!  "Oh just eat my Tracy, I mean seriously, how much damage can I do, I am only half your size in height and way like 10 pounds, but what the heck, eat me girl, just eat me!!!!"  For two long hard silent minutes, I glared at that chocolate bar, I slobbered on that chocolate bar, I whimpered over that chocolate bar, I caressed it, hugged it, stroked it and lovingly kissed its wrapper.  And then with a child-like pout, I got up from the couch, and with a gentle tear rolling down my red hot face, I slammed it back into the cupboard, walked past my better half (who was now sitting there with a disturbingly amused grin on his face), flicked him in the back of the head and said "oh shut up" and then with a hearty slam of the door, off to bed I went at 8:00 p.m.!

Yup, it wasn't pretty, but I made it my friends, I made it through my first furious fit!

Until Next Time.



  1. you've got some really good self control to be able to slam it back into the cupboard rather than eating it whole!
    congrats on the 9 lbs! and doesn't it suck when you are losing weight right along nicely and then suddenly you're stuck? i'm in that place myself. i've been fighting with a pound for a week now & it's not very nice to see my man eating bags of chocolate chips and such without gaining any weight back that he lost.

  2. It simply isn't fair is it?????? When I'm on a diet, though I sometimes find that when I've been really good and that choco craving comes, if I indulge it, I actually end up losing it! It's like the body has its own little hissy fit and says "gimme my chocolate!" and when you do, it sighs and says "thank you, I will now release these two pounds I have been holding onto simply to punish you for depriving me of chocolate." I'm certain this is how it works.

  3. Yeah. The only thing that survives in our house is the Girl scout cookies. Because they are made from wheat flour and that will literally kill me.


    But the sugar gets me every time. And it's Peep season for Christ's sake! I'm thinking it may be time to call in the professionals.

  4. I'm so lucky to never have issues with my weight.

  5. The forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden wasn't an apple, it was chocolate.

  6. I am giving up wheat and I have been getting some serious cravings.
    I'd have flicked him too. Probably in the forehead though. It bothers my guy more than the back of the head.

  7. YAY...GOOD ON YA.. I am proud of your resiliance. Staring down a chocolae bar would be a test for the strong for sure.
    So strong your are.
    Hissy fit or NO hissy did it.

  8. Oh good your post is only about hissy fits.....I am so sick of people making love to their cars, adults sleeping in cribs, and sitting in highchairs. Grown adults collecting 5,000. cabbage patch dolls, mickey mouse, wigs, having everything pink,even food. Eating chalk, picking hair out of drains and doing other obscene things.

    Thank God for hissy fits.

  9. Good for you Tracy! I'm thinking your other half may have been a bit jealous tho.......caressing, slobbering, hugging, stroking and kissing your other love....poor poor other half! :(

  10. Oh geezus that would irritate the pants off of me too!

    Good for you for holding it together. I indulged temptation last night and I wish more than anything I hadn't.

  11. I'm not going to lie, I do not have the self control you do. Good on ya.

  12. Those reality shows. Yes, hmmmm. But hissy fits! Yes, I have those on occasion, too! Good to let all that energy out now and then, hopefully without leaving too much wreckage behind!

  13. Oh boy. Good for you!!! Swedish chocolate is amazing!

  14. I love that your chocolate craving was a hillbilly. That's awesome. I don't watch much reality TV to see such hissy fits that they throw but they do try to tempt with them on the previews to their shows. It's truly disgusting the fits people throw. HOWEVER, yours was truly justified. Seriously, your hubby deserved more than just a flick. LOL At least a Gibbs slap. To be eating ice cream and pudding and lose weight? That's just wrong! And I give you props for putting the chocolate bar back in the cupboard. I would have tried eating it in one fell swoop.

  15. I hate men and their wretched metabolisms! That said, I understand the tantrum, but am very proud of you for doing the boring ol' adult thing in the end, darlin'. ;)

  16. "Yes, my chocolate craving was a bit of a hillbilly"
    Best line I've read in a long time.
    And best "fit" I've ever read about. Good for you...on all counts.


I love hearing from ya! Thanks for stopping by!