Sunday, June 6, 2010


I have a running joke with my closest family members, i.e. my mother and my better half.  That is that I was born under a dark cloud, the reality is that I was born three weeks late which I believe has ultimately screwed up my destiny.  Everything possible that can happen, will happen to me.  If there is a pole in the middle of nowhere, I will ultimately walk into it.  If there is one mosquito and 2000 thousand people, it will find me and not only get me once but a few more hundred times for good measure. Wherever I walk, I cause the ones I love some serious stress and usually you will hear one of them say: "watch the curb, watch the pot hole, there is a dip in the road, there is a tree up ahead."  And not only am I destined or pre-destined to be a klutz, but my whole path in life has been a series of potholes.  Not that I am complaining, it makes life fairly interesting, if not a wee bit painful at times!

As like every birthday I have ever had, my mother goes beyond what is necessary to make it memorable for me but ultimately something goes astray. This birthday was no different with the exception of me.  I knew that bad things were going to happen and I just embraced it and went with the flow.  I woke up sicker than a dog (strike one), we went on a garden tour where it just poured and poured (strike 2), I drank too much before we left and almost peed my pants (strike 3), one of the gardens was so packed that we couldn't find parking after we drove 30 minutes to get there (strike 4), my mother sat in pitch and I tried to get it off her butt with my hand and then everything stuck to my hand for the rest of the day (strike 5), we had a picnic lunch on a back road in the middle of nowhere in the car because we couldn't find anywhere dry (strike 6), I stepped out of the car into a great big muddy hole of sludge (strike 7) and on the way home after the garden tour was over, the sun came out (strike 8).  And those are just some of the highlights. But you know what? I just don't seem to care.  And at some point, it just was so ludicrous it was funny and I couldn't stop laughing.  Its just par for the course in a day of my life and I just wouldn't have it any other way. I can't imagine everything going perfectly right, and if it did, I am sure I would pass out from sheer boredom.  

I have to admit though that no matter how much my water downed, hair sprayed hair was dripping in my eyes, I did not miss the beauty that surrounded me.  It is definitely at times like this, when I am standing there like a drowned rat with mascara running down my face, sneezing with a kleenex stuffed up my nostril, my legs crossed to avert a dangerous bladder problem and my pitch covered hand stuck to my hair, that I continue to feel blessed.  Really!  Because whatever my problems are, nature counteracts it with tiny miracles that are nothing short of spectacular.

And in any event, it was memorable, this birthday of mine, and although extremely simple by most people's standards, it was special to me nonetheless.  And while I like to say that I am 21 on the left half of me and 21 on the right half of me, becoming 42 has started with a splash!  Now where are my rubber boots as I am in some serious need of puddle jumping!  

Until Next Time.
Smooches Pooches


  1. You are hilarious.... keep up the good writing!

  2. So great. I laughed out loud when I read the thing about the pole. I used to, as a kid, walk into poles all the time. And..did you ever stop to wonder if maybe hanging out with all those people is why/when those things happen to you? Maybe it's them. lol..just a thought.

  3. hmmmmm...... you may have a point, they could be jinxing me! lol


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