Tuesday, February 1, 2011

HAVE YOU SEEN MY PASSION?

I have no Passion anymore!  There I said it and I can’t take it back.  Yup, I have become a passionless dried up, in serious need of a good exfoliation, prune.  Is this something that happens when you hit your 40's?  It’s a question I have often asked of myself in the last two years.

Sometimes, I wander around my house searching for my Passion.  I look in the kitchen cupboards (nope not there), under the rugs (nope), in the hallway closet (nothing), upstairs (not there either)  and then I go outside and I say “here Passion Passion Passion... here girl, where are you girl?”  Sadly, she never comes.  I did notice in my 30's that she would sometimes wander away for short periods of time, but eventually, she always came back. And now well... she seems to be gone and I can’t find her.

There are days that I actually think about putting up posters on the telephone poles or taking out a newspaper ad that says: “Looking for my Passion, she’s pretty witty, incredibly feisty, drawn to the colour blue, loves to dance in the rain, let’s her hair go loose in the wind, can’t get her to stop talking about art... If you have seen her, please send her home.  Signed Shell of my Former Self!”

And, before you say it, no I have not hit menopause, but I am seriously wondering if I am starting to hit the dreaded mid life crisis.  It’s not that I want a younger man, why would I?  Have you seen my better half?  Good looking arab man with his dark, brooding eyes and his squeezable, yummy butt.  It’s not that I want a fast car, I have new red jeep and although its not a little convertible, it is kind of smoking hot looking and practical to boot.

So what is it?  And why did Passion leave me?  Adventure I think..  I have lost the art of going on a good adventure.  I tended to blame Passion for leaving me on many things: the amount of pain I live with, the fact that my better half loves being a homebody, the town I live in, the job that I do, but the fact remains, that Passion has left me because of me.  I never kept her fueled up enough.  I stopped taking her for nights out on the town.  I replaced spontaneity with complacency.  I forgot to learn new things that would have really got her mojo revved up.  Ultimately, I took her for granted and she got tired of it, and she left me.

I feel sad without her and at a bit of loss.  She was the very best part of me and now everything feels mundane.  She made me want to get up and go each morning instead of throwing the covers back over my head.  She made me fight back when I knew things were wrong, instead of standing there nodding my ahead in order to avoid confrontation. She made everything feel like it was in technocolour.  She forced me to do crazy, stupid things that gave me such an exhilaration that it would leave me on a high for days.  She could take any old grey sky and turn it blue.  Oh how I love her.

What I wouldn’t do to get my Passion back, and secretly, I am afraid that she is gone for good. I am holding out hope though that she will realize that there is still a flame that burns in me and that together we were and could be a good team again.

In the meantime, if you happen to see my Passion, I would really appreciate it if you could kindly tell her that her best friend is really very sorry and that she will never take her for granted again.  And then dive on that little bugger will ya and ship her collect to me via Fed/Ex!

Until Next Time.
Smooches


36 comments:

  1. Maybe try some passion fruit? I don't know if that will bring it back or not. For me, all it seems to brings is gas.

    SD
    www.TheSimpleDude.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wrote about adventure today as well.

    I hope you find your passion. Maybe she is off doing something without you, maybe you should go look for her where you'd least expect to find her, like sky diving, or driving a go-cart.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I lost my passion for shit when my ex-wife cheated on me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Or if you have any cats, try the litter-box.

    http://boldremarks.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't know....I just can't get past that picture of the lady in the red dress. So, if you'd like to call what I feel 'passion' then I'm good...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Notice that it is all men that have commented thus far... Perhaps, I am the only female who has lost her passion... you think?

    As for Oilfield Trash... sorry about your ex.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey, it happens. And then what you must do is pry your butt out of bed and do something even if you don't want to. Tell yourself you'll do it for 15 minutes, and then if you want to stop you can. Spring will help, too. I would be happy crawling into a corner with a mountain of books and be left alone for weeks, but sadly, I cannot do this. So move it, sister! Start looking a bit harder for your passion and it will eventually find you. Or one of these men on your blog will.

    ReplyDelete
  8. http://diamondsandsapphires.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/passion.jpg

    Found it!

    ReplyDelete
  9. OMG UD! They bottled her up! Please please let her loose! lol

    ReplyDelete
  10. I feel that way too. Especially when you talk about not "taking her out on the town" and stopped being spontaneous. That's me to a tee. Maybe talk to your better half about it and think up something to spice things up without leaving home. (Wink wink.) Ms. Caboo is right too about the weather. Once the warm weather returns it'll help.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well dear friend....I think you will find passion right behind your "mojo". Figure out what THAT IS and you are set. (O:(O:

    Xo

    Jo

    ReplyDelete
  12. i choose to think that the large chunks of passion that i'm missing now have been replaced with wisdom. i don't go dancing all night anymore, but i don't fall down drunk anymore either. i don't shop till i drop, but i don't have to deal with irresponsible credit card habits.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I think your passion can be found at

    http://goodgirlgoneaverage.blogspot.com/2011/02/have-you-seen-my-passion.html

    I'm just saying...

    Maybe your passion isn't gone maybe it has just been transformed and you don't recognize it anymore. I'm telling you, you write with quite a bit of passion, so keep it up.

    ReplyDelete
  14. That was a great post! Don't you ever dare talk about stopping blogging again! I think your passion is for writing and you just haven't recognized it yet!

    P.S. I tagged you on my blog today!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thank you guys so much... you really are so lovely in so many ways!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Love this post. I feel much the same way...only I'm not in my 40's yet...and that makes me even more sad.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love the photo and your post. In fact I just looked up a tango class the other day. I'm only 29 and already lost my mojo (or so it seems--due to the winter) so you are way ahead of me.

    ReplyDelete
  18. No you are not alone. I've seem to lost my "self" somewhere between 42 and 44! But am on a quest to find her again. You will too, find "her" again. Gotta get that groove back! :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh! And I love just love that picture!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I think I need to find that movie.. you know the one? "How Stella Got Her Groove Back"

    ReplyDelete
  21. I seem to find my passion on a regular basis, but then I allow others to take it from me. I need to hold on tighter. Passion: Silk. Fur. Nature as in barefoot in the grass and crashing waves. Christmas movies, Liking what you see in the mirror. Remembering what you used to love to do and see if you can't get back to that. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I feel you there. So many days I just go through the motions.
    I miss the younger, free spirited me.
    But a lot of crappy stuff has happened between than and now and I have to make the best of what I got.
    You seem to try and make the most out of things. You poke fun of yourself and that says you still have some passion in you.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Uhm..I hate to be the voice of reason here but do you remember the post you wrote for me not that long ago? The one where you said you were going in search of your passion by doing some of the things you've always wanted to do? Remember? Going from Average Girl tooo...?? What was it again? Oh yes...tell me.

    Buck up sister! You know where your passion is at!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. you obviously have a passion for writing! So maybe your Passion has just grown up a little and realises that nights on the town are not the be all and end all and that cosy nights in are more your Passion's style. Passion gets tired too so she is probably having a wee rest and recharging her batteries til you need her to leap into action again.

    P.S. I love your writing, makes me laugh :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. I can't imagine that your Passion has really run away. I'm pretty sure that she's just taking a short siesta after all of her shenanigans and will wake up full of fiery pizzazz.~

    Mine could use a rest, but damn, will she not leave me alone. For example, this morning I was driving into work, on icy roads mind you, and some complete PRAT cuts me off. I get a little miffed, but then Passion pokes me in the ribs and says, "Are you gonna let him get away with that?! You honk your horn, flip him off, and make sure he KNOWS what a moronic dick he just was!".

    And because I listen to her far too often, I sure as hell did.

    Also, no need to follow the "rules", but just so you know, I awarded you the Stylish Blogger Award at Casa Kat.~

    ♥~ Kat
    http://katsidhe.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  26. I'm entering my "late 20's" this month...and I still don't know what my true passion is. http://shazam7.blogspot.com/2010/10/lately-i-have-been-thinking-lot-about.html

    I didn't even lose it I don't think...or it was so sporadic to begin with I never knew what it was!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Have you lost your sense of wonder? I thought not! Is every day full of little adventures for you? I kind of thought so. No, you're not lacking in passion - just become so accustomed to it that you don't notice it any more :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. A "good looking arab man with his dark, brooding eyes and his squeezable, yummy butt."?? Don't tell me you've lost your passion after a description like that. I don't believe it;)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Make signs, if for no other reason than to give people a good chuckle. I imagined seeing a sign about someone's lost passion and thought about how I would probably laugh, right there on that stree corner. And who knows? Maybe someone has found it. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Such great comments... thank you very much

    And I am thinking Paul, that I actually may make those signs and put them up! *giggle*

    ReplyDelete
  31. Interesting post and comments! Sometimes it's fun to read a post a little tardy so I can read all the comments. Passion--sexual, professional, artistic, spiritual. So many kinds. Have you lost all passion or just certain passions? I am living very happily at this point in my life without certain passions, and that's fine. Perhaps my other passions don't seem exciting to those decades younger, but they suit me quite nicely!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Maybe your passion and my passion ran away together! I have been looking for my passion for some time now. Could be why I drink a little more wine than I should some days...trying to see if my passion will come and play with me again. It is very easy to lose yourself..so much harder to find it again. I know...We should gas up my Mustang Bullitt and hit the open road for a night of girlish fun! Our passions will see us having such an adventure that they will be begging to join us again!
    Are you in? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  33. I am so in Dawn! As soon as my lower back heals as I am not in absolute freakin agony! Shedding a slight tear as I say that as I am in that much pain! I really would love to go out and do something, I just have to be able to sit for more than 30 seconds without this pain and then I am in girl.. so in!

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from ya! Thanks for stopping by!