Monday, April 4, 2011

Hopeful

The last six weeks of my life have been bliss.  Twenty-five pounds lighter and waking up with more energy than I can remember in the last 9 years. I felt like I was soaring.  I know, it’s hard to explain.  But I felt limitless and was breaking out in song in my horrific tone deaf voice every morning.  Oh sure, my better half was putting his hands over his ears and wincing every time I hit a high note. But behind his wince, he was smiling nonetheless by my jubilance.  I was giggly and goofy and was dancing all thru my house, which is no easy feat since my house is tiny and my butt is not!  In fact, I was wiggling wherever I was going. Of course I took out the odd nick nac with that swinging patooty of mine, and I even think that my loveable pooch and better half were bulldozed into the odd wall now and then, but I didn’t seem to care. It was just plain wonderful to feel that way. In fact, “It” was fantastic and amazing.

Unfortunately, “It” has become the operative word.  I woke up Sunday with a wicked fibromyalgia attack.  I knew instantly the moment my eyes opened.  My body was heavy and thick.  My legs felt like cement, and the moment I moved, my body started to throb. I felt like I had been run over by a semi or at least being used as a speed bump for several cyclists. 

I suppose if you get to the crux of the matter, it is my fault.  I knew something was amiss on Saturday.  I felt just a tad sorer than I had in weeks, but I was so stupidly obsessed with getting my 45 minutes of exercise in that instead of listening to what my body had to say, I power walked around and around and around and around my neighbourhood like a silly dog trying to get it’s tail. I’d like to blame it on my ipod.  Filled with the music I love, I pounded the pavement until every ounce of me was vibrating. I was panting hard and I knew my body was hurting but I just didn’t care, the music was pouring thru me and I was loving it. And now, I am paying the price.

When I got up today, I realized that I was even worse than yesterday and it took me over 3 hours to get ready this morning, as I am just that sore.  Then to top it off, when I got into work some retro song by Mister Mister from the 80's was playing and I instantly had a flashback of me riding my bike in my teens with my walkman on blasting that song.  I saw me as wild and free with no pain and then I moronically started to cry.  And here I sit with stupid swollen eyes and no mascara or eyeliner left on my rather large alien head.  Boy I have a large head!

Oh well, I suppose some days are just going to be like that. In the meantime, I know that there are pain free moments, as I just had six blissful weeks of them and that makes me..... wonderfully hopeful.

Until Next Time.

22 comments:

  1. Yay for the weight loss, that is always a good thing.

    And sorry you are in pain.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 25 pounds in 6 weeks?!!!! WOW GIRL! That's asthonishing! Good for you!!!!!!!!!

    sorry about the pain lately tho, hopefully you feel better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  3. 25lbs! Good for you! I am so sorry to hear about your attack! It is another thing we have in common. Thankfully, after 10 + yrs of living with fibromyalgia I can tell when I need to take a day or two off to just lie around on the couch or spend a weekend in bed with my heat bag. It sucks to feel so sore from head to toe. I understand your pain.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You will feel better. Hopefully soon.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Stay hopeful! That mean old fibromyalgia is raising its ugly head because you are doing things its not used to - give yourself a few days to allow the inflammation to go down and keep thinking positive thoughts! I'm pulling for you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. owie! but at least you're looking thin & svelte as you rest painfully today in makeup-free land. some days are a total waste of makeup anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You're body is just pissed you've been doing so well and are determined to get your fibromyalgia under control. Don't look at it as a setback. Just think how much more difficult it would have been 25 pounds heavier. You can do this!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. ::hugs:: Everyone has down days, relapses and bad... there's always a tomorrow though. Tomorrow is always a new chance and a new day to get back on track, listen to yourself, and take you one step closer to being back where you want to be. You'll do it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I can feel your pain... literally. I do understand why you pushed yourself though. I plan to push myself to the limits as soon as the weather here allows and flare ups be damned!! I'm so sick of winter that I just don't care if I send myself reeling into a week or even a month! of payback.

    I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this nasty flare dies down soon and that you're back to feeling joy and contetment. Maybe with just a tad less enthusiasm though, eh? ;~)

    Be blessed my friend,
    ~Mrs B

    ReplyDelete
  10. 25 pounds! Fantastic! I've lost about 20 myself and I feel great. So much nicer not popping antacids like potato chips.
    Good for you!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you for all the kind words and 20 pounds, that is so awesome Al!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I hope this passes quickly so that you can get back to enjoying your happier, lighter life!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm sorry you are suffering a set back. But I'm so glad that you remain hopeful! You seem to be doing so well. I'm so proud of you. And inspired!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Listen to your body. But when the mood strikes you-sing and dance! It's good for your soul. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I hope your flare up disappears asap. Is fibromyalgia pain anything like extreme muscle soreness when you workout too much? Either way, I hope it's gone by the time you read this. You should be the poster child for determination, 25 lbs, wow, you go girl!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I think it's fantastic that you had so many pain free weeks. Rest up and listen closer to your body. You'll soon have more of those wonderful weeks. Love.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Congrats on your weight loss :-) Keep it up! And I hope you feel better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Life is wonderful - and beastly at once! I hope you're over your painful attack soon and able to enjoy your healthy, streamlined body again.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Well done, AG. Two steps forward, one step back and hope in between. Hope you feel better soon.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I am SO proud of you! WOW! I tried for a year to lose weight and was FAR from your success. I am sorry that the pain came back but continue to have hope

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ugh... I have the same problem with my health issues. They go away for a while, I exercise and feel great, dancy and singy, then when you least expect it the problems come back with a vengeance. It really sucks. Hope you get feeling better soon, and congrats on the weight loss!! Good job! :D

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thank you for the lovely comments!

    And I didn't know that about you Sunny Dee! I am so sorry to hear that!

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from ya! Thanks for stopping by!