Every year, my better half and I lock up our house, drop off our pooch too his adoring grandmother, pack up our most relaxing of clothes and traipse an hour and half north to a spa situated on the ocean and surrounded by the lush green forest of the pacific northwest.
We often choose to stay in what is affectionately known as the spa bungalows. They consist of various four little connected units set in a wooded area, away from the beaten track, with a king size bed, kitchenette and a jetted bath tub for two that opens up to the fireplace.
It's a place to unwind, rewind, kick back, relax and let your cares just drift away.
The spa part itself is unique in that it has this fabulous cave like mineral pool and a tree top tapas room that is only accessible if you are
a. getting spa treatments; and
b. are wearing one of the resorts fluffy plush robes.
Thus ensuring that the spa remains quiet and uninterrupted.
And while this is all incredibly decadent and a lovely way to wash away the stress of my job, the thing I love the best is the deep jetted bathtub for two back in our bungalow.
Now being a bit of a bathtub hog, I have to say, romantic or not, my better half is never included in my jetted tub moments. I am kind of selfish that way. I just want to light some candles, add some bubble bath, turn on the jets and melt away into some exotic fantasy that no doubt includes Shemar Moore, body oil and me. Not that my better half is not a wonderfully handsome fantasy man, but every girl should have a fantasy man that does not provide the reality of stinky room-filled farts, random wedgies and who asks if his ears and nostrils are clean!
Needless to say, I take full advantage of my lovely jetted bathtub friend every night we are there.
However, I fail to learn the same lesson each and every time I am there and about five minutes with the jets on you will often hear me start to panic and freak out and flail my arms around like a maniac as I reach and search desperately for the "off" button to the jets.
Yes my friends, note to you and myself, when being piggy and selfish at bathtub time and adding bubble bath to a jetted bathtub, use only one cap full of bubble bath, not a half of a freaking bottle, or you will find that you will have to swallow your pride, do some serious begging and ask that farting, random wedgie, ear wax and booger free nose man of yours to come and rescue you!
|Yes, it is a naked "Average Girl" under all those bubbles|
Moral of the story: greedy bubble bath girls should always include their stinky, booger free better halfs into their fantasies and into their jetted tubs!
Until Next Time
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I look forward to getting to know you!