2011 left me like the softness of a lover's caress and 2012 entered just as sweetly and gently, making me wonder what this year will hold.
My Christmas was a typical happy disaster created by the likes of me and my channelling of Lucille Ball. From almost food poisoning my family with raw poultry, to loosing my turkey skewers and having to truss up the turkey with galvanized nails, to my family finding out about the galvanized nails, to sending them into the garage to eat their dinner where I transformed it into a sorry-ful makeshift dining room, to unthawing my Christmas dessert and having it collapse into mush and offering my family the alternative of whip cream shots from the can, to finally capping it off with laughter so hard that I nearly peed my pants, not once but twice, all over the fact that I was definitely the hostess without the mostess!
I spent the rest of this week either utterly exhausted laying on the couch moping to myself or had crazy like moments of being a furious tasmanian devil whilst I ripped down all the decorations before entering into the New Year. I blame the latter on the fact that I consumed copious amounts of chocolate dipped goodies.
In all seriousness tho, I have always had this weird sense of wanting to leave the past behind when the New Year begins and open into the future for all that is new, fresh and mistake free. Of course, eating a bag of chocolate covered almonds and six slices of bacon was not the best way to start the new year, although my stomach begs to differ!
However, for me, I have realized that it is time to let go of those things that are holding me back.
It's time for me to say goodbye to my insecurities, my sadness, my lack of confidence and my failures.
It's time to properly say goodbye to those relationships that are no longer in my life, but to which I hold onto in my heart, though strongly I know that they are gone.
It's time to let go of the past so that I can be open to the here and now.
It's time to close doors and open windows and feel the fresh air upon my face.
It's definitely time to smile and banish my self imposed frown.
It's time to sparkle in my eyes rather than squint (although I have a sneaky suspicious that sunglasses might help this infliction!)
But mostly, it's time to let go of my fears.
This year, will be the year about growing... And as I say that, I wish to clarify with the fates above, that I would like to grow metaphorically as a human and not my ever expanding waist line! However, I am open to growing in my height. Just putting that out there in case you can do something about that!
This year will be the year to believe in myself and realize that I am worth more than I have ever thought.
This year will be the year to reclaim my creativity and enthusiasm.
This year will be the year I fight thru and conquer those chains that hold me back.
And this year, really this entire year, will finally be the year I let go....
And I will... How do I know that, you say? Well, I have already started...
Until Next Time.