Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Lost in a cluttered soul...

As I was lounging like the lump of lard I can be on New Years day with my eyes bulging out of their sockets from the hours of mindless television I was punishing myself with, I over-exerted my toneless arm and reached for my plush new copy of a girly magazine. I told my less than desirable body that I was just pampering myself with a lazy day and taking advantage of the fact that the man and the pooch had left me alone for several hours to wallow in chocolate leftovers and slovenly behaviour.  What's worse, is that I sadly told myself I deserved it.  And as I flipped from page to page in what could be described as sheer boredom, I halted at an article that caught my eye when it started off by stating that a new year, so they say, was the time to start fresh with a clean slate and a new perspective.

I sat there for what felt like an eternity staring at that line and trying to comprehend what that meant for me.  What was I bringing into the new year? I still had the intense chronic pain from last year, I still preferred to enhance the chubby bum print on my couch, my hair was still fuzzy and unmanageable, I had a few more new nose hairs and chin hairs that I was more than happy to leave behind in 2011 and I was sporting a rather large pimple on my chin that I swear was not only talking back at me but was giving me attitude to boot.

My drawers were still full of panties with saggy asses or gawd forbid holes in them.  My socks and pants were faded due to the multiple times they had been washed, and my bras were no longer holding the girls in place.  In fact my poor bras, once brave and strong, that had forced my girls into permanent saluting submission, had now weakened so much that my girls were now happily hanging their heads cross-eyed whilst they surveyed the distance between themselves and my knee caps.

I stood up determined to find the positive in what was increasingly becoming a negative situation.  I opened this door and that door, this drawer and that drawer, and all that stared back at me were piles, piles of old clothes, receipts, shoes, mismatched dishes, old spices, canned food from gawd knows when, stale crackers and expired salad dressings.  My heart started to beat wildly in my chest as I saw half made crafts, and half written journals, half assed photographs in half assed matting, pickles jars with only brine, ketchup bottles with no ketchup, what was I doing to myself?

Was I unable to let go of my past years, was I holding onto something I feared I would loose, something so intangible that I had to hang onto the tangible?  Was I lost, lost deep within my cluttered soul?

My breath became shallower, my chest tighter, sweat was pouring from my temples, my hands were clammy and I swear I was ready to pass out by the enormity of the situation!

It was then, as I spent the next two hours trying to calm myself down and figure out what was haunting me, that I realized that while my soul was cluttered, it was actually cluttered with good things, with soon to be done art projects, and almost completed written posts, articles that were almost perfect and ready to be submitted to the newspaper, photographs that only needed to be developed, and projects that I could not wait to start.  Oh yes, my soul was actually happily cluttered.

Sadly, what I really was, was just a lazy slob.

Until Next Time.



  1. The ketchup bottles and pickle jars are just waiting to be rinsed for recycling, that's all.

  2. Let's stay with the cluttered with good things!!

  3. Getting the piles and empty bottles etc. to transition into the "happy clutter of the soul" is the trick. To eliminate that which does not translate, I use a simple plan. Leave questionable objects laying about everywhere. Either Laurie picks up and straightens up, or I finally get annoyed enough to do something with them. At that point I either move them to a permanent limbo realm (from which they'll be thrown away in a couple of years) or just pitch them. In either event, if the need or magical use for finally comes to light, Given that they were left lying around in the first place, I just blame their disappearance on Laurie and cease to worry about them.

  4. I want to run through my house with a garbage bag, throw it all out, and start afresh. But this requires time and copious amounts of money, which I don't have. Dammit.

    But yes, I understand that freaked out feeling. I plan on doing some major decluttering--I think it will help me calm down and not feel so overwhelmed/bored/lazy.

  5. Seriously, it took me 10 minutes to calm down after my laughing fit over the cross-eyed nipples!

    Trust me you are not the only one who is lazy. I'm quite lazy and then wind up kicking myself in the ass over it later. And that's not easy to do....kicking your own ass. Lol

  6. My soul was happily complete until Tony decided to rip apart the sunroom (it's only 1/3 of the ENTIRE house) Now I have insulation, stud walls, and a strange odor coming from the floor.

    Thankfully my soul is so cluttered now, I have no attention span to kill him.

  7. Holey panties make good patches for your pants =)

  8. i've got cross-eyed, floor pointing nips too. sad.
    cluttered with good stuff is a perfectly okay place to be, i think. or at least, it feels that way in my life once i get some of the physical clutter pitched out.

  9. Gee I thought I was the only one with crappy underwear, and saggy hoots. HOORAY for new Year! Hooray 2012 was the year I found out I have a bosom buddy with holy underwear!

  10. Thanks for the tip Ruth!

    And I am definitely going with that Galen!

    Do you think I could borrow Laurie for awhile Chris?

    I am glad I am not alone there Sue!

    Oh you laugh now my friend, but trust me JDay one day your boobs will be looking cross eyed too!

    Good lord Julianna... that is going to be me in a couple of months! Yikes!

    Lost without a map... oh my gawd I laughed so hard at your comment, am not sure I want my panties made into patches, especially if you saw what weird designs I pick out!

    You and me Sherilin... we are soul sisters!!!

    LOL at Melissa, who would have thought that saggy holy underwear would bind us in this way! tee hee!

  11. Your clutter sounds like my clutter. And I need new knickers and bras too

  12. You have such a way with words. I smile everytime I read your blog.

  13. I hate spending money on panties and bras! Very little fabric for quite a bit of money!

  14. Congrats on your nominations, my friend! You totally deserve them!

    I revamped (kinda literally) the bras and undies this past year and was truly surprised by how much better it made me feel! I actually bought frilly, girly things, instead of the usual old utilitarian stuff. Nobody but me knows I have it on, (except the Mister, of course) but that's part of the allure! I highly recommend it.

    Now, As for the rest of the clutter in my life? Hmmm...

  15. That was wonderful. I'm going through my underwear drawer tomorrow. And I agree with Mary - nice underwear makes you feel good, like you have a nice secret!

  16. Glad I have several people who feel that way Middle Child!

    Too bad Mynxy that we couldn't have a knickers burning party together and then go out shopping for new ones!

    Me too Leslie!!! Although, I do spend too much money, and I think why did that bra cost more than that dress.. .and then my boobs become perky, and I realize why it costs as much as it does! LOL!

    Oh Mary you little tart!!! You go girl, my inspiration!

    Thanks Melissa Ann! And thanks for clicking the like button, you made my day!

  17. Don't be so hard on yourself. All that clutter you speak of, just means that you are ready to cleanse your soul and rid your life of things that hold you back. Once you purge your "clutter" you will begin your new year with a vengeance. Promise! :)

  18. This post made me realise why your scribblings are so popular, Tracy! Facebook, that addictive, time wasting, scourge of our lives is a great communication tool, but sadly it seems to encourage self congratulation and sychophancy. How easily we can convey what wonderful lives we live with edited accounts our existence, glowing reports of our families, carefully chosen photos of our highlights, all tweaked to make us appear
    adorable, popular, talented! That may sound a little cynical, be we all know we are guilty of it to some extent! Enter Tracy! No pretence there! We know Tracy inside (sometimes unfortunately!) and out, warts and all! There is nothing about her life she is ashamed to admit to, no self delusion or self grandeur! How refreshing it is to read her page, which reflects far more closely the truth of our lives than anything you will glean from Facebook! Keep it up, girl! :-)

  19. Im totally hearing you on the cluttered soul thing!!! This coming week Im giving the house a good spring clean, including the knicker drawer LOL!!!! Start as I mean to go on......;)

  20. Killer post! Especially the part about the cross-eyed got some kind of funny!


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