Thursday, September 9, 2010

THURSDAY TOOTS: The Power of Patience

Now if you have been with me for awhile, you will undoubtedly know that I adore my better half.  While not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, he does come very close on a lot of fronts, except where patience lies.

Every morning we perform the same song and dance while getting ready.  Of course, being a man, he hops in the shower and hops out, and voila, he’s good to go.  As for me, with excuses aside, I have to say that being in so much chronic pain, mornings are by far the worst time of the day for me and I move at a snail’s pace until my body is warmed up.  Needless to say, I am no Speedy Gonzales.  You will never hear me break out with “andalay! andalay!” or “arriba”!  Nope, this girl has long a go hung up her “rise and shine” and replaced it with “descend and cloudy!”

And so you would think, perhaps, after all this time, my better half would come to the realization that I am not going to be ready quickly.  It does after all sound like a reasonable deduction, does it not?

Well, I am here to tell you that I am about to beat my better half senseless with his own set of car keys!  That’s right people, each and every morning, while I putter about in my pain induced delirium, my better half opens up all the blinds, shuts off the tv, opens the garage door and proceeds to warm up the car.  While this sounds good in theory, the fact of the matter is, I am still standing in my pj’s, with wet hair, a glass of milk in one hand, tweezers in the other and toothbrush hanging out of my mouth.

And for some crazy reason, he believes that if he continues to rev up that stinking car, it will make me move quicker.  Well it won’t, it can’t and it will never be!   And now, it has become the dance of the wills.  Who will bend to the other’s will first?  Both stubborn by nature, I am concerned that one day he will haul me out of the house whilst still in my pajamas with my wet hair swinging frantically in a tangled mess while toothpaste oozes from my mouth and a pair of tweezers are sticking out of my chin.  I, on the other hand, often fantasize about pulling out not only his vehicle's spark plugs out but his personal  ones as well and jumping up and down on them like some lunatical mad woman with a crazy smile and glazed out look plastered on my face!

I know that the reasonable answer would be for me to get up earlier, but the fact remains, that I am lucky if I garner three hours asleep a night, and I am not prepared to get up any earlier than the two hours I already do.

In any event, I have kind of out smarted my better half much to his chagrin, as I now stuff kleenex in my ears so I do not hear the revving of the car or his continual in and out of the house sighing followed by slamming of the back door.  This way I am in my own little world of delusional happiness.  Of course, I think personally that this is highly considerate of me because I have come to the conclusion that while I am a very patient woman my friends, if I continue to hear the revving of that bloody vehicle, you may end up seeing my better half with a set of keys hanging from his nostrils.

I still hold out hope however that he will eventually succumb to my will because, after all, that Chinese Proverb is correct: patience truly is a virtue!  And it seems to me, we all could do with a little now and then!

Until Next Time.
Smooches Pooches

PS  Come back tomorrow for Fabulous Friday where I announce the two winners of the bracelets!  See you then!!!!


  1. Silicone ear plugs that mold to the shape of your ear are wonderful. I use them at night to block out hubby's snoring.
    Just sayin'...

  2. I would love to see you being hauled out with toothpaste drooling on the side of your mouth.... LOL

  3. Have you thought about slowing him down? You know, hide his towel, the car keys, jimmy lock the garage door. One could get creative, if given enough time. I totally understand you because my husband suffer from the same incurable disease...

  4. About those silicone ear plugs? DON'T try them. I used them, and I ended up at the doctor's office with pieces of the silicone lodged in my ear drum. One of my friend's daughter ended up with a piece in her ear also. Her's was worse, she ended up in Emergency...anyway, just saying, stick to the kleenex lol
    I'm so NOT a morning person at all. Never have been, never will be and that's that.
    Randy is a happy camper all the time, I want to shoot him too.
    Give hubby a couple valium in his coffee, that will slow him down ; )
    Love Claudie

  5. Ear plugs work all the time - I use them 24/7 to combat the noise my husband makes and I am as happy as a clam! LOL

  6. Funny...well not really when it is happening to you. But you are not alone. My husband is like that in the evenings. I want to sit and eat dinner slowly and before I know it he is up loading the dish washer. My sister thinks I should love having a hubby who LOVES to clean, but it drives me insane.

  7. Your humor is brilliant and your patience is strong! The keys would have been hanging out of my partner's nostrils ages ago!


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