Sunday, January 23, 2011

THE BICYCLE BLUES

So in the quest for the YEAR OF ME and taking control of the pain and living on the healthy side of life, I thought, somewhere in my bird brain, I would chuck some cardio back into my every day life.

Don't you just love it when you think you can just pick up from where you were like three years ago?

Luckily for me, my better half works in the bike industry and hooked me up with a great little mountain bike that we set up on a trainer in the house.  He even went so far as to increase the length in my stem and handle bars so I wouldn't have to bend and strain my back so much. And bless his little heart, he got me a woman's specific seat covered in a soothing gel seat cover.  Yea for my bum!!!  Now, I was all set to go!

I had been fantasizing all about it yesterday.  So, I donned on my bike gear this morning, admired myself and thought hey I kind of look like I know what I am doing.  And then I strutted my stuff in the hopes of being the envy of my neighbourhood.  Okay, being the envy of my four walls while I sit there and peddle and watch TV, but nonetheless I could imagine the wush of the air against my face, I could dream about riding down hills with my hair blowing wildly in the wind all the while getting that rider's glow and feeling the endorphins pumping thru my body.  Oh yea, I was bringing sexy back to cycling!


Yup, it goes without saying that in my bicycle fantasy, I was looking just like this:



Sadly, I didn't even come close to looking like this:



Nope, in reality, I looked more like this:



And when I got off that damn bugger after five intensive minutes of sheer agony, I walked like I had been riding this:



And then I walked over to my bathroom, stepped on my scale, and *DAMN* I didn't even move an ounce.  So I was left with no other alternative than to do this:



And then I went down stairs and ate this:



And sadly, I am now laying down doing this:



Oh yah... I have sexy down to a science!


Until Next Time.
Smooches


32 comments:

  1. LOL Oh dear. Maybe you should just ease into it. You may not forget how to ride a bike, but one's body seems to. And quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for the laugh Tracy, I am not feeling so bad about myself now girl!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have the same issue. I used to go to the gym all the time. Then life got in the way, and the gym was one of the things that went to the back burner. I went to the gym once last week. I was so sore I couldn't move my shoulders properly till yesterday. I feel your pain. Don't give up.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The end result of all exercise, in my estimation!

    ReplyDelete
  5. That last picture looks like me on Sundays around my house.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You make me laugh. I can so relate!
    Cindy

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just like me when I try to get back into some kind of workout. My body just rebels and I remember I am not 20 anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  8. i love you fatass lady on the stationary bike! and i am totally the picture of laziness on the couch today. oh, who am i kidding. almost every day!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love the cartoon of the lady shooting the scale. I feel that way, too. I have given up chocolate and all candy, and only have dessert once a week for 3 weeks and haven't lost anything!

    ReplyDelete
  10. You have an interesting approach to exercise. I think that you might have to build up your strength here. People who suffer from chronic pain can't just jump on the horse. I think maybe five minutes on the bike, some walking, some yoga... in other words a little of this and a little of that. And don't step on the scale for a month. Just work on moving. Change the goal. It's just a thought...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh dear lady....bikes....I received an orange one last holiday and my neighbor bought the same style only in blue....We had big plans....as of yet we have rode together once...yeah once....However, I do occasionally check the tires to make sure they have not gotten flat in the garage!! (O:(O:

    Jo

    ReplyDelete
  12. Once we move I'll be heading to the gym, more like the pool for any kinda exercise in the pool that they have....I don't like to sweat.

    CBG
    canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ha ha ha, you'll be able to bike longer, the longer you do it. And stay away from the scale. I was told once that it is better to measure once in a while than to weigh, and that has worked well for me in the motivation part.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ouch! yeah its better to ease into exercise other than to jump right into it. Though i feel the same way you do. You do it once you feel like you should lose 10 pounds! If only it was that easy!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh dear, you are doing it all wrong! Sorry, but you are. First, you model the clothing, show the bike you aren't afraid, walk around it a few times, then retire for the day. Tomorrow, climb on the bike and make sure the seat is comfy, climb off, retire to the couch. Next, check the pedals to make sure they are adjusted just right, enough for that day. Ya gotta EASE into this kind of stuff. When you finally feel up to it, then you can leisurely pedal for a minute or so...you've got to ease into it! I do hope you are feeling better...loved all the cartoons!

    ReplyDelete
  16. We must be twins.....I've done the same thing with basically the same results!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Just found your blog, from Simple Guy's, which I found from his comment on Hyperbole and a Half. All of which is to say, I obviously don't know you well at all, so forgive me if this is totally out of the park... but.. have you considered trying Brazilian jiu jitsu? I hate exercise for exercise's sake, it better be social and fun or I just won't keep up with it. But once I tried BJJ I was hooked. It's a great workout, but more importantly, it's fun, and it's a mental challenge as much if not more than being just a physical one.

    Check it out! :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Aww girlie! Don't try it all at once. Since you're just starting again and since you suffer from chronic pain, consider starting slowly. Today 5 minutes, tomorrow 10 and then next day 15 and so on and so on. Also, put the scale away and don't get back on it for at least a month, and then put it away again. The scale is not our friend! Don't get discouraged, it's going to take time. Chin up girlie! :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh Tracy, you are a gal after my own heart! The days of running long miles, mowing the lawn, and cleaning the house all in one day are looooong gone for me. I only plan one little bitty exercise a day, then I must rest for the remainder of the day, including a nap. And chocolate.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I haven't rode a bike for ages, and I'm afraid to get on one again. Which is funny seeing it was my mode of transport for so many years. I bought an el'cheepo one and rode it round my back yard once. Just once. :)
    P.s. do the sit down bikes at my gym count? Cause I ride them a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sigh. I used to be so fit and firm - I feel for you, I really do, because I'm in the same place: I want to be fit and firm, and I want INSTANT results and not too much effort, thank you very much! Last time I rode the 12km to town, I felt great till after - not sore muscles - SICK!

    ReplyDelete
  22. LOl.. I enjoyed reading this post... and all the cartoons too.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hehehehe... :D
    I have a little something for you, over at my blog.. Come see... :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. HA! Love your use of images to give us an understanding of what's going on.

    ReplyDelete
  25. ::laughs:: You can never expect immediate weight loss results unless you sweat a lot and then it's all water weight. Keep with it and it will definitely pay off! Those peanut butter fingers do look delicious though.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I'm hoping it doesn't but how long before it becomes a clothes hangar?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Heh, this sounds strangely familiar ;)

    It's definitely hard to jump back into exercising. 5 intense minutes is no small feat! I'm sure you can slowly work your way up to 10, 15, 20 minutes!

    ReplyDelete
  28. You are funny. I found your blog through Krissy/Talkative Taurus, and I joined the party.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  29. I have been trying to get motivated to start working out agian too. Sadly I haven't found the motivation yet. But I will keep thinking about it.... GOOD LUCK to you!

    ReplyDelete
  30. That is hilarious! Biking can be rough on the ol' crotch. Hope you're doing ok!

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from ya! Thanks for stopping by!