Tuesday, January 4, 2011

HITTING A BRICK WALL

I must admit that the “Year of Me” is faltering ever so slightly.  I woke up ridiculously fatigued yesterday and dragged my sorry old butt over to the fridge where I contemplated the nutritional value of yogurt versus a chocolate peanut butter finger.  Of course, it goes without saying that the chocolate peanut butter finger won. Oh come on, you know you would have chosen the peanut butter finger too! 

Later in the morning I heaved my lumpy torso up the stairs and popped in the Yoga DVD.  I decided for educational purposes, and to ensure that I do not torture my body wrongly in future yoga poses, to sit and watch the DVD thoroughly.  Myself and the peanut butter finger both agreed that there were perhaps some good reasons to continue on with Yoga and I even cheered on the rather sickly sweet Yogi when she gracefully went from Warrior Pose 3 to Downward Dog with not even a wobble.  Personally, I am determined to become that graceful as I certainly would not want to repeat my Downward Dog debacle from the other day where I became unsteady, tipped over like a cow, fell sideways onto my couch and eventually slid down on the floor with a resounding thud where I laid for a good 10 minutes moaning and groaning.

Feeling a tad more enthused, I joyfully ran down the stairs in an attempt to have something more healthy for breakfast, have a hot steaming shower and bound outside for some blue sky and fresh air.  In reality, another peanut butter finger called my name and I flopped on my couch guiltily covered in the remnants of my chocolate frenemy and stared at my ceiling for an inordinate amount of time contemplating the meaning of my existence (in other words, I was taking a nap) before my phone rang and brought me out of my chocolate stupor.

After a short but sweet call from my beloved, I spent the next 15 minutes in a staring contest with my dog.  I blinked and he won.  Damn his steely eyes.

The remainder of my day went as follows: I visited my mother where her geriatric but sweet little pooch threw up across my feet.  I came home where my crazy little hound gorged himself on dinner, ran around like a maniac and then came over and threw up on my lap.  My better half threw up in the garbage can while cleaning up my pooch’s throw up off my lap.  I threw up in the bathroom while I sponged out the rest of the dog’s throw up.

Suffice to say, I do believe that currently 2011 is kicking my sorry ass.  The tally stands as follows:

I peed my pants on the January 1.
I twisted my body into a painful pretzel on January 2.
I had two dogs throw up on my on January 3.

Yah, I know what you are thinking: 2010 all of sudden doesn’t look so bad, does it?

Until Next Time.
Smooches Pooches

28 comments:

  1. It's bound to get better!!

    I think you need an easier yoga tape:) Or 1 class to get you started Downward Dog is great for stretching everything..

    On one of my tapes.. the lady says in French..which is the same in English"Patience..Patience,patience"..

    Good luck.. :) It will pick up..
    Oy I was worried our tree is till up!

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  2. LMAO!!! You are always so good for a laugh!!!!

    Hopefully January 4th is the REAL start to 2011. :)

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  3. You're getting all the crappy days out of the way first! Then your year will be filled with awesomeness :)

    xxx

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  4. Yeah didn't ya hear? They've counted up the days again and found a few left over. This is actually 2010 and three quarters... new year hasn't started yet!

    Damn that peanut buttery goodness though...

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  5. Man you are funny!!!!

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  6. omg that sucks so bad having two dogs throw up on you in one day... and I know all too well the chocolate stupor... i live it all the time...

    amberlashell.com

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  7. Oh goodness! I wouldn't get out of bed tomorrow as you've had the wee, sick and theres just left the .....

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  8. I needed this good laugh, I love your humor and if I read any more like this I will probably have to go invest in Depends. After a day like that I'd head for another chocolate peanut butter finger, no contest. Happy New Year!

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  9. Knew there was a reason for not having a dog or three.
    At least the better half didn't thorow up on you too

    Dribble...

    Secret Pleasures

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  10. At least it is starting out *memorable.* How many people can say that they have done all that in only three days???

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  11. My strategy is to never have chocolatey goodness in the house! If it's there, I'll eat it. Chocolate calories go down when you have to walk to the store to get it ;)

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  12. Where do you find chocolate peanut butter fingers? There aren't any in my fridge!

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  13. Fortunately this is still last year for the Chinese...I tell you, celebrating lunar years makes sense! ;)

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  14. I think you must immediately eat more chocolate. And lay down.

    Get all the barf out of the way now, and the rest of the year will be barf-free!

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  15. it's a regular vomitorium up in your house! mazel!

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  16. Oh dear, LMAO - but not at you, with your funny way of telling your story. Feel better.

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  17. I may vomit, reading about vomit...
    lol..
    hope the next day was better :)

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  18. That sounds rough. I'm sorry about your 2011 so far, but things will get better... they have to it sounds like.

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  19. I always tell my girl that "it could always be worse." You could have peed your pants while twisted up with dogs throwing up on and you can't get untwisted. All kidding aside....I never start the new year until the Chinese New Year. Feb 3rd...year of the rabbit this time. Gong Hay Fat Choy!! See...you still have a month until the year of You can begin! <3

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  20. Yogurt makes me feel like I'm eating spoiled crap. It's sour, tangy, gross, and I plain won't eat it. Add me to the list for peanut butter goodness.

    I hate laughing because you were in misery, but you write about the misery in such a funny way...*hides head while laughing and feeling really guilty about doing so* So, to make up for the laughing, I'm sending you tons of blog-hugs.

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  21. maybe the year didn't start out so well for you, but your blog rocks. If I were you,I would seriously consider making this yoga thing a weekly piece, it is too funny, you totally crack me up. :)

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  22. Ha ha ha... it's never boring at your house Tracy! There are always things happening or usually things coming out of bodily orafices. :)

    I'm already falling off the wagon too it seems. Although I do blame my damn head cold on the fact that I didn't make it to the gym tonight. I'm trying to blame the chocolate eating on the head cold as well but finding it less rational. However, the good news is that I'm drinking tea rather than wine again tonight. The bad news is, I'm still missing the wine and hating the tea.

    Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe you will participate in the yoga session and I will make it to the gym and avoid the chocolate. Or maybe not...

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  23. I've already blown all of my resolutions, and I'm tired of waking up thinking I'll try them again each day. Blooey:) I'm sorry, but I burst out into laughter reading this, even though I was sorry that the dogs threw up on you. That is just about a daily occurrence here, I clean it up and go on. If we feed the dog one extra ounce, she always rewards me...not! Take care sweetie, and watch that dvd a couple of times a week. At least its good for a nap!

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  24. Only you could make a puke-fest so enormously funny to read about! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

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  25. Wow, you have had an eventful year so far! You are definitely the funniest blogger I read.
    I am betting the 6th will be your day!

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  26. LOL LOL LOL i would say for all that puking up deserve more than the peanut butter finger. I'd say the entire bar is in order!

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