Sunday, January 2, 2011

OHMMMMMMMM OHMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

So after yesterday's fiasco of peeing my rather big girl panties and reading a comment from my lovely blogging buddy Marcela who inspired me to redirect my energy, I decided to switch up my life, change my energy around and make today my official starting date of 2011.

I pitter pattered out in my pajama's after a somewhat tumultuous sleep where I nearly shoved my fingers up the snoring nostrils of my handsome beloved, lovingly stretched my body, and ate a healthy breakfast consisting of yogurt and strawberries. And then bounded enthusiastically upstairs to pop in my Yoga DVD for injured individuals. Oh alright, I did eat the healthy breakfast, but against the will of my slovenly body, I dragged my rather large patooty up those damn stairs to subject myself to 45 minutes of pure hellish torture all wrapped up in some rather flexible and way too damn happy looking yogi.  Of course, I made a pit stop to my computer first where I caught up on blogs and reamed out one of my blogging buddies... Ahem ahem... you know who you are *cough simple dude cough* and then I dragged my sorry butt over to the TV.

Now listen, this is suppose to be easy peasey yoga for those who are injured.  So deep within the confines, and perhaps unrealistic imagination of my mind, I seriously believed that after yoga, I would look like this.



But in actuality, I looked like this!




After twisting, turning and doing movements that were suppose to flush out my kidneys (and by the way I need no assistance in that area), I ended up performing movements that saw my body in poses that it hasn't been in since being tucked in the womb of my mother!  I finished in a child's pose that accidentally had me letting out a bombastic fart (darn my love of chickpeas), and with a rather large exhale followed by a goofy and embarrassing "OHMMMMMMMMMM", I was done. Unfortunately, as I tried to get up, I realized I could barely move my neck.

The next hour was spent under a shower head trying to loosen my overwrought and agonized body, followed by copious amounts of deep cold gel rubbed into my skin with finally succumbing to taking one of my happy "please make me pain free" pills so that my rather large head would be let out of the vice that was presently squeezing the crap out of it.  Then I ate a piece of Nanaimo Bar!

All in all, a rather good start to the Year of Me.

I can't wait to see how I do tomorrow!

Until Next Time.
Smooches Pooches

PS  Thanks to the latest and greatest peeps who have jumped onto my bandwagon!  You made my day!

25 comments:

  1. LMAO LOVED IT Miss Tracy :)
    HAPPY NEW YEAR And i love the new look
    so that was you i heard screaming early lol

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  2. You are so funny! You always put a smile on my face!!!!!!!

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  3. When you said you "pitter pattered out in your pajamas" I thought that it had happened to you again.

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  4. I have been thinking of trying the yoga DVD I have. You have thoroughly frightened me. Eeeks.

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  5. I'm peeing my pants, reading this stuff, you're even better in 2011. I can't stop looking at those Yoga pics. from the looks of this, it's going to be a very funny year for you and us. can hardly wait!!

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  6. I love that second yoga picture; it looks like me at my Silver Sneakers Exercise Class!

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  7. I attempted some yoga last year and realized it was not for me. It's waaaay to tough. I am not flexible enough and it literally kicked my ass.

    Things over at my blog's part of the world have been crazy this weekend indeed, more than doubled my follower count in less than 48 hours. You'll benefit from it too as someone I like to pimp!

    SD
    simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com

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  8. Love it! Thanks for being my first follower mwah:)

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  9. You always make me laugh, but then again I'm sorry you hurt so much. I can just imagine your yoga positions...I would have flatulence, too:) My 2011 will start one day soon since I've already wrecked my resolutions.
    Why do I miss seeing your blog some days? I get that darned message that the blog isn't available-?

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  10. Never been one for yoga. I'd rather pound it out on a tredmill. Funny stuff :)

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  11. I don't know what you're all talking about. I love yoga - it's the exercise you do when you don't actually want to do exercise. Got to admit though, it's pretty much a fart generator - well, I guess that IS getting the toxins out....?

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  12. I totally just signed up for yoga last week! I foresee a lot of cringing and laughing in my future oh and pain! I am not flexible at all and I'm clumsy. I just hope I don't injure myself too badly! Hope tomorrow is better!!!

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  13. The key to yoga is to listen to your body and not to go beyond what you can do at the moment. Push a bit, but not too much, one cannot pretend to be as flexible as the instructor on the first day. But if you persist, flexibility will come and soon you'll be able to do more and more things. Good luck and keep going!

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  14. Always thought I would try yoga. Did Pilates briefly, must get back to Zumba soon.
    Brilliant post Miss Tracy as always. Hugs xx

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  15. You did fantastically well, what you didn't think about was that a nanimo bar is made with chocolate, chocolate comes from a bean and is therefore a vegetable and so is part of your five a day. So you even had a healthy diet to start your new year!!!! xxx

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  16. I'd love to try yoga but going by your experience I might not! lol

    xxx

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  17. I love yoga..I am so curious to know which tape (DVD) you use..
    You shouldn't feel that way:( My husband started doing a little 20 minute routine w/ me some mornings..

    ever go further than you can:) Go where you can..breathe..and go further when you can..

    A class is really nice if the atmosphere is right:) Even a perfect music helps..a candle..For the first time I am doing it in a darkened room w/ low lights.. a studio.. it's heavenly.

    Hope you try again..

    PS I just read Marcela's post and it looks like I copied her:) It's just that I hear it so often!

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  18. Hahaha. I love yoga myself, but your anecdote is hilarious. :-D

    http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

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  19. You are right about Yoga. I always somehow feel worse afterwards. Either my body is in horrible shape, or Yoga hates me.

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  20. I feel the same way!! Over the weekend I found the yoga DVD I purchased and said you can't successful concur yoga unless you are skinny (which I am not) and flexible (which I am no longer!) haha, its not my cup of tea that is for sure!

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  21. Lol...as usual!
    Wouldn't it be nice if you could get more instant gratification from going through all that???

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  22. I'm with you, yoga makes me want to commit a crime... ;0)))

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  23. Good for you for getting up and doing yoga! I'm also trying to turn over a new and healthy leaf. I ate oatmeal for breakfast, signed up for the gym (boot camp is on a break) and am drinking tea rather than red wine in the evening. I have to say though that I'm totally missing the red wine!

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  24. I hear ya sista. Yoga baffles me......and you should see me try to tackle ZUMBA. Nope...I have the grace of a waterbuffaloe. Not an ouce of rhythm.

    I am glad to see you rewarded yourself with a Nanimo bar. Do you know , no one eats those in the states. Well, while I was there for 28 years I never saw one. So when I come across them hear at gatherings, I usually stuff a couple in my purse.

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