Wednesday, April 7, 2010

DING DONG... IT'S UPS CALLING!

Yesterday I was nearly jumping out of my skin.  I could not wait to get to my mother’s where a nice little packaged had arrived by UPS from the shopping channel.  Now I know what you are thinking: does that girl do anything else but shop?  Contrary to popular believe, I actually rarely do any form of internet shopping.  In fact, I will take some out of the place little store that takes me over two hours to get there just to browse as oppose to watching some corny video on the computer trying to sell you something.

However *insert big sigh here*, I happened, and I use that term loosely, been perusing the shopping channel website when I came across something so spectacular that I could not help myself from vocally ooohing and awwwing for almost a half hour.  It was better than a glass of wine, a plate of chocolate and a bubble bath altogether

It combined my three loves: Italy, Intaglios and blue glass.  In fact with regards to my love of blue glass, I am sure that I have been diagnosed with A.D.O.S.B.O.  What is that you say, its Attention Deficit Oooooohhh Shiny Blue Object Disorder!

So it just happened a week and half ago, I came across this ring made in Italy, with the centre being Positano Venetian Blue Glass with an Intaglio of Venus carved into it!  I was in Heaven, floating and floating around in my ecstasy of happiness (or as my family would call it “my stupidity of madness”).  I just had to have it.  It was how you say in Italian: MOLTO COSTOSCO (very expensive).  I consoled myself with the fact that our Italy trip, once again, was put on the back burner for yet another year.  So if I could not go to Italy, then I was going to have a piece of it shipped back to me!  It was a sound argument at the time.

So, when I arrived at my mother’s, I was happy, exhilarated and bounded up her stairs with child-like enthusiasm... okay small exaggeration, let’s just say I was excited.

I ripped that package opened, and glanced at the small white box with funky blue plastics side and popped it open.  I drew my breath in and then, then, then........ I stood their speechless.  The beautiful ring was about the size of a small country!  Good Lord!  The glass was enormous, the gold was too gold, I could barely see the Intaglio and when I put it on, I was sure that I had been transported back to Sicily where I had became the female version of the Godfather, Don Vito Corleone, except I was known as the Godmother.  I was seriously expecting my family to fall to their knees and kiss allegiance to my ring!  In short, that ring was UGLY!

I turned around to show my better half and my mother.  The horror and shock on both their faces was obvious as they shaded their eyes from the glare of the ring.  All the time, saying “it’s different honey” which in my family translates to “that ring is gawd awful”!

I took the ring home with us last night and I was shocked that it actually fit into our vehicle and that we didn’t have to strap it down to the roof of the car!  Needless to say, its going back!  Thank gawd for 30 day return policies that include reimbursement of shipping and handling!

I guess it is a lesson learned.  I guess I will just have to wait until we hit Italy in person.  And it may be that I don’t bring back a tangible piece of Italy that I can wear but at least I will bring back my memories, and for that, I am pretty sure I won’t need a return policy!

Until next time.
Smooches Pooches

3 comments:

  1. This reminds me of a song......Saw it on the T.V....Bought it on the phone.....got it home....It's a piece of crap....PIECE OF CRAP!! ♪ ♫

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  2. I can't say I ever heard of that song... but there should be a song called "BIG AND GAUDY"! lol

    ReplyDelete

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